Cautious about this site, but a lot of people I like to see from around are here so I'll make do ig.
I'm mostly active on mastodon as hazel@lesbian.solutions
This is very well written. I hope I don't come across as dismissive by saying this, I believe you fully, I wanted to congratulate you on how you assembled those real elements and on how you expressed them through writing.
hopefully not patronizing coming from a total stranger, but:
this is all beautifully expressed. shit's fucked up, i'm so glad you feel safe enough here to say what needs to be said, and it breaks my heart that it needs to be said.
to state the obvious without pontificating on trauma to a room full of people who have accumulated enough traumatic experiences for a lifetime and who already "get it", the way trauma keeps bubbling up to the surface like an immune response can interrupt life at the best of times and upend it at the worst, and it's very heartening to see in your postscript that you are in such a good place now, surrounded by supportive and empathetic friends.