hello friends I am looking for a few rebugs to maybe meet a few people who are interested in ✨Queer Fantasy Adventure✨ who don't follow me because if you follow me it's probably for "computer go beep boop" related reasons
Click Here To Read Glory in the Thunder which is a novel that somehow comes with chiptunes but lemme introduce you to these four characters:
This is Tsovinar, the Goddess of Waves:
“I AM TRYING TO READ.” Tsovinar’s voice shook both of the girls down to the ends of their hair. “And if both of you do not leave, I will splatter you against the walls of the library. I will shatter the bones of anyone who comes to stop me. I will upheave the mountains to wash away this whole town into the river and down to the sea if that is what it takes to FIND SOME TIME TO READ THESE BOOKS IN PEACE.”
[...]
Tsovinar stood straight and still over him. “Deserved,” she said at last with gritted teeth. She raised both clenched fists. “You think this is about what he DESERVED?” That final word shook Barsamin in his bones. This was not enough. The goddess cast her eyes on the pine tree behind him. The very air then quivered as though it were being torn asunder, and Barsamin felt that he would also shatter and attenuate into nothing as though he had never existed. Behind him the trunk of the pine exploded. Several splintered chunks of wood hit his cloaked back with concussive force and he stumbled forward. He fell to his knees as a shower of needles fell as thick as the rain.
This is Katarosi, crown princess of a flat broke country:
“You have a lot to say for someone dangling from a rope,” Katarosi reminded him. She hoped he understood that she had an axe and he did not.
“Two ropes, actually.” Saltarei smiled as though this were clever.
Thwack. The little boat swung wildly, scraping against the hull. “You seem to be mistaken, Master Sancto,” she informed him. “But please, do continue.”
[...]
Luzcrezo sighed deeply and pitifully. “Erasmin asked me to come back to her,” he explained, “and Barsamin found out before I could explain this to him, so he took me to have been playing him for false. Which I suppose I was a little bit, though that had never been my intention...”
“How much is a little bit, Luz?” Katarosi pressed sharply.
He threw up his hands as though she might strike him. “Being interrogated by princesses was also never my intention,” he said delicately.
“I am worse than a princess, Luz,” Katarosi told him, leaning in close to him across the carriage; he had no avenue of retreat. “I am your sweet lover’s wife.”
This is Barsamin, the bookish nephew of a wicked god:
Ismyrn sighed in disappointment. He truly was that unpracticed in even the barest knowledge of romance. He couldn’t notice even the most blatant flirting. “Beautiful, Bars, he thinks thee beautiful, and would like to see all of thy beauty. In a bedroom. Is that blunt enough for thee?”
One could have heard a single snowflake fall in Barsamin’s silence. “... But I’m a boy,” he said at last.
“I thank thee for the report, Commander of Spies!” Ismyrn told him. “I never would have supposed.”
[... one journey of self-discovery later ...]
“You are quite sharp,” Salazeel appraised him flatly, “for someone who has swallowed enough drugs to knock out a camel.”
Barsamin startled into crackling focus, staring at the drink in his hands. He set it down hastily, unintentionally spilling it all over the cushions. “Are you trying to take advantage of me?!” he demanded, furious. If only this man had just asked!
Salazeel leaned in eye-to-eye and caught Barsamin’s chin in his firm hand. “My lord god, I am trying to murder you.”
“Again?” Lightning leapt to Barsamin’s hands, but Salazeel was already gone. He spun around dizzily looking for the artifice and threw a strike but again Salazeel vanished. “Why – does – EVERYONE – on – this – earth–” Lightning struck again and again, exploding the cushions in a shower of feathers, small thunders shaking the room, but his reflexes were too heavily impaired and Barsamin missed every time as Salazeel blinked in and out of existence. “– want to kill me?! I just got here! I don’t speak your language! I can’t have offended anybody yet!”
And this is Houri, who is Completely Normal:
Houri popped up on Barsamin’s far side. “The only one here who needs fear assassination is you, Barsamin of Chald,” she said with a sinister smile. “The marriage proposal is an elaborate trap!”
“Houri,” began Katarosi.
“Isn’t it obvious?” the younger girl continued. “I need a worthy sacrifice to take to the fire for my initiation to the Flametenders, but Mother insists I can’t use a citizen. I need someone no-one will care about, like someone from Chald.”
[...]
Houri bit her lip and folded her arms. “You want true stories, Bars?” she asked. “Let’s go to the waterfall.” She gestured up the hill, past the castle, which still seemed quite small against its rocky surroundings. “You know the story, right?”
“Where Sparkasuki received the Aspect of Flight, and became your first queen,” Barsamin answered, wanting to sound respectful of their traditions.
“Right,” agreed Houri enthusiastically, “and where Arakel was thrown to his horrible, agonizing death for betraying her! His flesh was torn from his bones by ten thousand birds before he reached the water!”
[...]
“Gods, I love doing that,” said Houri with delight, rushing forward to catch Ismyrn and Luzcrezo. “Hello, new friends! I am Houri, the other princess of Antaram! Would you like to see our collection of horrific instruments of torture, unused for centuries – allegedly? They say that down in the dungeons, you can hear Sparkasuki’s suitors screaming her name for all eternity.”
The two young Republicans stared down at her. “... I like this one better,” decided Luzcrezo, to her immense satisfaction.