heh


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kossai
@kossai
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caro
@caro

I've always said that DNI isn't about actually setting boundaries anymore, it's virtue signaling- as much as that term has been co-opted in loathsome ways by vile people, it has some use here.

If you put 'racists dni' in your bio, a racist isn't going to see it and go 'aw, nuts! i have to go away now' like Swiper the Fox. Either they're not self-aware of their own racism ('i have black friends!') or they are aware, and they're going to interact double because they see you as a target now. Same with homophobia, transphobia, ableism, etc. etc. And for less high-stakes criteria- if you have 'dni if you like Sword Fantasy 3: Return Of Sword Fantasy', its fans are just going to not bring up that they're fans to you, because that's a silly thing to unperson someone about. You're better off saying 'i have SF3ROSF tags muted, please don't talk to me about it'.

The use of a label like that isn't to ward anyone off or to do any good, it's to show to your friends 'i support the right social causes! i promise!!!', which is maybe a symptom of a greater problem the internet (especially young gen z) has with prioritizing the appearance of purity and goodness over actually doing what's right

When it comes to, like, retroactively adding tumblr posts to have 'terfs go to hell' in big flaming letters, that does something. If the post has been co-opted by a group who you disagree with, adding explicit messaging against them will stop it spreading in their circles (and possibly cause some infighting, if they're extra-extremists and even an accidental show of disloyalty is enough to get someone on the shitlist). But the bio list is useless- sometimes worse than useless, honestly.

If I could control the layout a bit more, Kossai's whole post would go here. It's great, faer wording is phenomenal and I can't really expand on it. Scroll back up and read it again. In the accepted format of the DNI, there's a lot of really easy ways to accidentally do harm to people you would otherwise get along with.

Here's a story I tried to tell about that, and then it turned into a longer, more generalized rant.


StrawberryDaquiri
@StrawberryDaquiri
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in reply to @caro's post:

oughhh thing i should have brought up in the main post yearh. dni culture is a good vehicle for terfs etc bc theres people who view having one at all as a Good Person Badge and wont even click the link to investigate. lots of different ways to be evil in this system

I read the whole website the moment I saw the link, and I just went "what the fuck. what the fuuuuuuck. why is the antisemitism section only talking about world war ii, why would you ever put an "etc." into a list like this, why is "pro all good-faith identities" viewed as a bad thing, what is this trash fire" and then I kept reading your post and THEY DIDN'T EVEN READ IT BEFORE LINKING IT IN THEIR PROFILE??????

shits wild

Filipino here, with a note about the Filipino politics stuff: a lot of youth, internet-using Filipinos of the sort who would be assembling DNI lists are also Extremely Plugged Into american-centric discourses of the sort this list exemplifies. I would not be surprised if this is actually a case of a list made by a Filipino and the sole example of Filipino politics and discourse leaking in.

Fuck duterte and marcos too. They kinda have a bit of a Trumpesque cult going on

That's what I figured, that either there was a Filipino behind this or there were requests made by Filipino users to get this information on the list. Either way, it's a look into the behind-the-scenes that this aggressively blank site has otherwise scrubbed itself of, and I thought that was quite interesting.

what a weird pile of "don't interact if you are a Nazi OR if you have taken the wrong team in a hyperspecific pissfight where only extremely online leftist fandom queers even know what the teams are"

...

anyway I'm not a "radical inclusionist," I'm a radical "I am not the king of the world"ist. my view on controversial queer identities is less "I approve," more "I do not grant or deny other people permission to exist"

ooooh good post good post. i do like adjectives, especially because they're usually more of an 'I am' and less of an 'I am not'. centering the spotlight on what you want to promote and celebrate, rather than the things you want to discourage or fight against, is better for the mind i think

yeah, I think the thing where people just brain-off adopt dni lists for social reasons like you mention, actually are trying to do that part, and would benefit more from, but it feels like they're afraid to put anything in stone about themselves (which may say a lot about friendship dynamics going sour for an entire slice of the generation more than anything, not that mine was much better)

At this point I had already been considering just blocking people with weird/complicated rulesets (not just DNIs) on sight. I’m not reading every full bio and all pins of someone who crosses my feed every time I go to interact with them. And I sure as fuck ain’t memorizing it. This way I only have to read it once! Should save me a lot of time.

I don't know if I can get behind that- I know a lot of people who need and have longer ones, and if you do what I've seen called a 'before-you-interact' list well, it can be effective. There's a big difference between 'go away if you're a racist' and 'please don't use tone tags for me', you know? I want to respect people and behave kindly to them, and I like having that information at hand. 'I sure as fuck ain't memorizing it' is a little dismissive to people you could otherwise be friends with.

That and the longest ones are usually really cool-looking.