8: Veiny
“Fuck no.”
“You deny my challenge?”
“Call it what you like I’m not fighting you with that.”
“Coward! Face me in combat!”
“Absolutely fucking not.”
“Aw come on, why not?”
“Look at what you’re holding, dude. That’s not a sword.”
“It is absolutely a sword!”
“That is a dildo. That is a big veiny penis you have attached a sword hilt to.”
“Th…the sword of flesh is a powerful weapon!”
“No.”
“Its creation was borne of the genius of thousands of years of necromancy! With it I have felled a hundred foes!”
“Don’t care! That shit’s gross! Plus it introduces a whole element of homoeroticism to this whole thing that was already present because we were going to fight with swords and just makes it explicit instead of subtle. I like to keep my time spent with dicks and my time spent fighting separate, thanks.”
“I cannot believe you are refusing an honorable challenge!”
“Look, I’m sorry, I just don’t wanna have dicks ruined for me because had to fight a dude with a big sword dick, okay?”
“Ugh, fine, what about this?”
“That is just a smaller dick.”