Did a bunch of Adult Errands today. But also I got a stuffie (the whale from IKEA)! Karu has been around a lot lately and likes stuff like that, of course.
I did some cleaning/organizing, too, so I threw out/recycled a bunch of stuff. It wasn't difficult, per se, but the recognition of "oh, I need to do this" took...a very long time. I grew up in a hoarded household (not as bad/dramatic as any of the tv shows, but still...not a good place to be) so I know I have the proclivity to buy stuff I don't need and hold onto stuff for way too long. And because of my personal experience, I become blind to these issues. Like "oh there's clothes in my closet that I have never, ever worn and have owned them for several years, I should probably get rid of those" is never a thought that I have.
I wasn't allowed to get rid of stuff for so long, but my things are my things, no one else's, so if I want to toss them, no one is there to stop me or make me feel guilty for wasting money. But I have...definitely grabbed things people have left in the trash room in my apartment building and taken them home. But!!! I only do it if I know what to do with them AT THAT MOMENT. Like the little metal rack that I now have my shoes on/in. Because before my shoes were just a pile in my room, but now they're organized! I won't grab something that I might use someday. Only stuff that I can currently use, and will use as soon as I bring it home.
The hoarding stuff is Weird because I never talk about it with anyone. I think I only mentioned it once to my last therapist, and maybe never at all with previous therapists. It's not a thing that is actively affecting me (besides nightmares sometimes), and I don't think I'll suddenly become a hoarder, either. Having a roommate definitely helps with that! They called me a hoarder once because I had 2 old computers laying around that I have never used, and it really hurt, but I didn't say anything about it, because I didn't want to air out my trauma like that. But it did get me to finally realize that I'm never gonna use them, so I found a place that takes ewaste and got rid of them and some other never-used electronics, too.
I am lucky in that the others don't really demand physical things or their own clothes or stuff like that. They would rather eat/drink specific things or have specific experiences. Karu definitely has things just for them, for small time, but I intentionally minimize the amount of stuff there is and have it always organized/put away. Because I don't want my roommate to know I have that stuff.
I know I just complained about them twice in those one post but! They're an okay person! They know I'm queer, and a furry, and had a not great childhood, and they're cool with all that. But they are very...normal. They don't really understand kink or "alternative lifestyles" or things outside of the mainstream. And we had an argument one time, where they tried to tell me systems/plural people don't exist, because MPD isn't real, and I'm like...well, you are half right, it is now called DID, but it is real, I have friends who are formally diagnosed! This isn't made up! But they really believed they were right and wouldn't budge. Which means I'm probably never going to tell them I'm a system, it's just Too Much to explain and idk what telling them would do!
I have told my friend group, and my sibling, so it's not like I'm in the closet about All This. And they've all been very nice about it all! Despite how incredibly open I am on the internet I am still very private about stuff with certain people I know in person. So being a system falls into that category, lol
-bird