My brain is the writer's room for the worst show on television, and no one is taking any notes
Aelita ☆ Aether ☆ bird ☆ Glory ☆ Halara ☆ Izzabelle ☆ Karu ☆ Shun ☆ Silver ☆ Sunny ☆ and more!
You can use pretty much any pronouns for us collectively. Pinned post has additional info/specific pronouns per person.
Roommate: Did you hear about Jeremy Renner? [gives details about the accident]Aether, aloud: Is Hawkeye even still alive? Is Disney going to photoshop his head onto a body double that has all his legs now?
Roommate: I think his family is more concerned that he lives.
Me, panicking: I mean!!! Disney isn't above doing something like that! They CGI dead people all the time! Like that Star Wars lady!
The rest of the conversation did not go well
I have been making a concerted effort to Prune Stuff, so I have less emails, less posts to look at, less things wasting my time that don't make me happy or help me out in any way. Yet still the numbers go up!!! Some of these things are my own fault because it's me being Social but still looking at messages/replies sometimes just...freaks me out.
Also I go back to work on Wednesday, so there is gonna be a huge pile of emails to deal with. And meetings and more messages and Things I have to do. Getting up when my alarm goes off and getting dressed and large chunks of time not being my own.
Part of what I'll Need to Do is ask my boss about the raise I'm supposed to get. I don't think I've talked about it a lot on here, but I have a lot of job-based trauma. I have been fired a number of times (mostly because I couldn't do what I needed to do from un/undermedicated depression and/or ADHD)(once though I was set up to fail by my manager and that sucked so bad) and another time I got laid off. So losing my job is something that freaked me out for the longest time and it took a lot of time and medication and working with my last therapist to get to the point where I don't read every little thing as a sign I'm going to be fired.
But I do not do a good job advocating for myself. I am severely underpaid and I just...don't do anything about it. Probably because a part of me is still afraid that any amount of rocking the boat means the end of me.
But this is a thing that I, bird, have to do myself. Aelita takes over if I have a panic attack, and Aether fronting at work has always...gone poorly. No one else has any experience in getting me out of these situations. Or maybe they do? I feel like I've disassociated through a lot of job interviews (I am sure that has also hurt me), but I have no idea who would have fronted. And I know that no one has experience asking for raises/promotions, because that's never happened in my career.
I know that I have to Be Brave and suck it up and do it but...I really do not want to. My boss moved to another state right before the pandemic hit, and neither of us have our cameras on when we do our 1 on 1 meetings, so I don't have to worry about sitting still or how my face is showing what I actually feel...but, man. This just sucks. And I have to do it.
-bird
(yes I bought it)
Another Karu-y day. There was this one challenge that was too hard for them so I had to be tagged in to do it for them lol. It's like calling in your big brother to help you with a boss in a game. Karu is good at games, and has much more of that raw reaction speed that you see in pro gamers than I do. Fun fact: they all "age out" of high-intensity/reaction-speed games like FPS and MOBA games at about 20, because that's when they start to slow down. And that's why there's professional Fortnite players that are <13.
I, bird, like to play games like chess and Yu-Gi-Oh (and, yes, I do have Aether help me sometimes. Because having your headmates help you play is the true Yu-Gi-Oh experience) and things that are mostly plot, like visual novels. I am also a dweeb and like checklists and spreadsheets and making the numbers go up, so I do stuff like fill out the Pokedex or museum in Animal Crossing. It's planning and being methodical and things that Karu does not like lol.
I think that's what happened with the latest Pokemon game; I began taking it too seriously and it wasn't fun for Karu anymore. But since the newest Sonic game was just going fast and doing things by feel instead of doing math, it was all Karu. Even the really hard time attack stages were still Karu, since it's about feeling the momentum and making those snap judgements of when to jump and stuff like that.
I should definitely keep finding games for Karu to play, maybe there'll even be some days, soon, where I'll have the house all to myself and I can let them go all-out. I would have done that over the holiday, since my roommate was gone for so long, but I was sick and it was no fun.