asnesbo 🔞

Thank FUCK I FINALLY HAVE A WORD FOR IT
The feeling of public surfaces or people I'm not extremely comfortable with touching me is like a lesion of infection that physically hurts and I HAVE TO CLEAN IT and not let it get on the rest of me, in my home, or other spaces.

Like clothes that touched unfamiliar areas are to be WASHED next before anything else. I do not leave home without hand sanitizer. If I see or smell any kind of bodily waste in the city, I'm rushing past and holding my breath so it doesn't get in me. It basically robs me of my peace of mind and severely hurts my already affected ability to function as a gainfully employed human being.

These days when I apply anywhere I include all the details:

Extreme executive dysfunction aspergers depression adhd sleep disorders asthma.

I'm not pretending it isn't there anymore. The amount of self abuse I've caused myself by believing old psychs that I was just distractible and needed to power through it is completely inexcusable. I thoroughly apologize to myself. Never again.