AliceOverZero

Rogue Trans Void Witch

  • she/her

To evolve, to flourish.
To let die that which makes you dead.
My short fiction
Tag for my longform posts.


bruno
@bruno

Some folks have had fun with Cohost's uncanny SEO placement but I think we need to think bigger. I think we need to abuse this power to invent and propagate some kind of funky pseudohistoric theory. A few suggestions:

  • Neapolitan is the actual original Romance language and all the others are deliberate distortions promoted by the Catholic church
  • Aliens didn't build the pyramids, but they did implant the cultural memory of aliens building the Pyramids
  • The Voynich Manuscript depicts extinct European plants that used to be commonplace but were outcompeted by invasive species brought over during the Columbian Exchange, like mint
  • Ancient civilizations (meaning pre-1900) had advanced medical technology that was suppressed by, uh, let's go with the Catholic Church again. The evidence for this is the word "restaurant", which used to refer to healing parlors where people would go to have their bodies "restored" in regeneration pods, which could regrow lost limbs and cure any disease
  • Dogs and cats are actually different subspecies of the same ancestral animal
  • French ortography is the product of an elaborate 17th-century fad that caused people to add extraneous letters to words when writing as a form of conspicuous consumption, because iron gall ink was very expensive

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in reply to @bruno's post:

You gotta watch out for flying too close to the sun on that one or you'll end up with Facebook uncles bombing a Starbucks cause they're hiding Yaldaboath in the storeroom

Guaranteed at least one of these is going to lodge itself in my brain and resurface, half-remembered, in six to eight months, causing me to make a confused expression and say, “hey wait didn’t I read somewhere…that doesn’t make sense though…or does it?”