i watched Borderlands (2024) and i just know Saint Peter is going to bring this up when i get to the gates
To evolve, to flourish.
To let die that which makes you dead.
My short fiction
Tag for my longform posts.
i watched Borderlands (2024) and i just know Saint Peter is going to bring this up when i get to the gates
i genuinely thought i'd be like "well it wasnt that bad" after seeing people's scathing thoughts on it but no it really is one of the worst things ive watched
the bad movie club i’m in watched it for this week’s screening. even with what felt like well-set expectations, god damn what a joyless piece of shit. good thing no one will remember it until a baffling short-lived attempt at a reevaluation in 8-10 years
it's insane to me it made it past any stage of production. there were people on set watching cate blanchett and ariana greenblatt act and no one said anything? no one told eli they were actually actors and could take direction?
i am SO curious what of that movie is still eli roth’s and what’s the reshoots by the deadpool guy because it feels like this was supposed to have 2-3 more action sequences or something? was it supposed to be pg13 the whole time? it doesn’t feel like it
as for the actors …. glad that they’re mostly well established and clearly just taking a paycheck, except maybe ariana greenblatt …. but she has barbie (which was filmed after this!) to point to and that no one will remember this so she’s not just tiny tina forever except to a very small number of scarred people
Saint Peter, staring at you outside the Pearly Gates: So, did you lose a bet or something?
I got to see it for free at an early critics screening and I still felt like asking for my money back.