I trust that you, of all hackers, can handle this task.
And that is why you were time-hacked back into 1998.
You must restart the weird internet, and prevent the corporatization of the net before it can take hold.
To aid you in this quest, we have provided a copy of Win 98 for Dummies, and a CD wallet full of helpful utilities, wikipedia entries for relevant events, and contemporary EDM albums.