Alphadeus

You have my sympathy on this anniversary and your dad does sound like he was a great person.

It's good that you kind of made your peace with what happened, these are some pretty hard circumstances, especially on such a young person as you were back then.
I'm taking care of my dad in my mid-30s and whenever something is wrong I'm also getting anxious and fear I'll screw stuff up if I listen to him saying it's okay and to not call ambulances etc. Though these days he has daily medical care from nurses etc. so there's less pressure on me alone.

Anyway, it's true that you did accomplish a lot since then, a thousand song composer, a stable love life, just getting by while being disabled is an accomplishment these days and there's probably more. I'm sure your dad would be proud.