Alphadeus

I wanted to share with you some thoughts I have for each track on the album. To give you an idea of what went into the making of it. Unlike most of my releases, this album had a road map of sorts (a list of track names and concepts I wanted to tackle). I'll explain each song as I listen to them.

1. Data Stream - I wanted to write something that sounded like "computer music" to represent the stream of data that flows through my mind. I also wanted to toss in surprise changes that show how the stream can be altered.

2. Fire in My Belly - I probably should've called this song "Fire in my Chest", although both terms describe what I feel. I have this imaginary ball of fire in my core that keeps me from being affected too much by the cold weather. I can stand outside in cold weather for a decent amount of time, but because I can't control the flame, I need the air to be cold all year round.

3. These Pills - I wanted to write a song that describes my feelings about the medication I take. The good pills make me feel better than I would normally feel, so the song begins with a positive beat. It switches to a somewhat dark beat, because sometimes I get dark thoughts even with the medication. And some medication fucks with me in general.

4. Garbage In, Garbage Out - I believe this is a term that says if you input bad data, you'll get bad output. I try not to take in garbage data, but sometimes it cannot be helped. The song itself is meant to sound rough around the edges with the instruments. Fast drums, unusual woosh sound.

5. Close Your Eyes - This is a neat song, as I used automation to place a high pass filter on most of the song, so it fades out except for the high instruments. Then another portion of the song comes in, and eventually they combine. The idea is that when you close your eyes, you tune out the first part of the song, then you focus on the second part. When you open your eyes, you hear the two in unison.

6. Intrusive Thoughts - Nice positive energy beat for most of the song, interrupted by two jarring sections that represent (to me) how intrusive thoughts feel. I'll be looking at something gross and my mind will be like "EAT IT" among other really bad thoughts.

7. Aphantasia - This is a thing some people have, where they cannot visualize when they close their eyes to think of something (although I can still dream, quite vividly sometimes). The song doesn't really do much except rhythmic patterns and a slight melody. It's a pretty unusual style of music for me, as I tend to focus on melody-driven pieces.

8. Downward Spiral - Mainly just a song to describe the feeling of going into a deeper depression. I made it sound like something off the album "A Well-Known Stranger", which was also an album about descent.

9. I Don't Belong - Other than the Dtoid/Ctoid community, I have never found a place where I feel like I belong there. I feel like an outsider looking in. So I wrote a somewhat sad song that sounds lonely. I admit, sometimes I feel like an outsider here too, but not as much. I got good friends here.

10. Information Overload - The 1,000th track. The purpose of this track is related to Data Stream. Because of the internet, I am constantly feeling overwhelmed by all the bad news thrown at me. Whether it's true, or a misinformation campaign of some kind (or people just talking out of their ass). There are several "song fragments" I use throughout the song, such as the "Walking in Circles" bell line in the beginning. This was obviously on purpose.

11. Nine - Written in 9/8 time signature. The song's main purpose is its position in the album as the 11th track (11/9 was the day my father died 26 years ago). I wrote this song on 11/9 as well.

And that's the thought process behind this album. One of my favorite albums to have created. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.