
β Leftist π¦ Murican β₯οΈ Undertale/Deltarune Fan
it feels like this is not often talked about. i'm younger relative to you but i sometimes feel old in "trans years", i've been on hormones and transing for almost ten years now and it feels sometimes like i am no longer as "culturally relevant" in online trans circles, which skew so heavily towards the experiences of people on their first few years of hormones.
the kind of melancholy feeling of seeing people excited and discovering themselves for the first time, and that part of my life with all the exciting changes and thrill being so long ago (combined with the generalized uncertainty of having DPDR, it feeling like i have no identity even ten years later, and the isolation of a forever-pandemic as an at risk person, feeling like my life is just going to be lonely and isolated and the same for the next however many years or decades until i die). sometimes i get nostalgic for my early transition years the way people get nostalgic for their teen years.
i never really talk about it, especially not to people "younger than me in trans years" bcuz i don't want to depress them or sound like a curmudgeon being like "enjoy it while it lasts" but also. yeah.