too drunk to make this cohesive
i hate how much work i put into my office job that's now worth nothing. thousands of problems solved in creative ways; all worth nothing. i walk out, i'm left with absolutely fuck-all. it doesn't matter that i was clever, it doesn't matter that i cut out hundreds of man-hours of work, it doesn't matter that i figured out how to write scripts that interfaced with our shitty systems to solve problems. nobody cares. none of it matters. i wasted ten years of my intellect. it went absolutely fucking nowhere.
every single job is like this. if you let your neurons turn on for even a second, you're being robbed of all the specialness the universe put into you. it'll all be drunk up by the company like a fucking sponge and then pissed away into nothingness the moment you leave. working hard is pointless. nobody will ever care that you did it unless you're an architect and what you make is so big that nobody can ignore it
