For white folks who are stressed out about trying to be good ones, try as much as possible to remember that racism is a structural phenomenon, not a sin which you have to purify or be purified of inside your heart. Your intentions and feelings about it are largely irrelevant to the structural and systemic realities people are dealing with.
That may sound mean at first, but it shouldn't make you feel bad. The point is that you just need to focus on your behaviors and how they impact others, and if you can identify ways that maybe you've been unintentionally reinforcing white supremacy, try to remedy those behaviors going forward. You don't need to worry about being seen or judged as something different from who you really are. The goal in any of this is not to divide people up into good and bad allies.
One of the strongest traits of the sort of deep cohost user culture is a desire to maximize control over how one is perceived. People want to be perceived always and only by the people they choose to perceive them, in the way they choose to be perceived, to the degree they choose to be perceived. There is a deep fear a lot of folks on here have of being seen as something other than themselves.
I understand where that comes from, but when dealing specifically with stuff like "do people know that I'm one of the good whites," you will have a much happier and healthier experience and be less harmful to others, if you can let go of the desire for that particular control.
That's not to say that you shouldn't work on internalized racism and how you feel about it inside! All human beings should! But that's more of a thing to work out through self-reflection and maybe therapy and less of a thing that you need to hash out in a website's comment section.
