There's more than a few good quotes in The Immortal Hulk about God and Divinity, what it is and it is not, where God came from and whether he, she or it is borne derivative of human kindness, desire and moral bias, and that no matter how broad the remit of Divine power it is limited by human hearts and purpose, desire providing profession of handsel and funding of love and fuel to the fire of terror, rage and righteous fury, however it is tooled and where the fiery sword of Seraphim or Morningstar alike is turned and plunged into flesh or stone, or both. A heart can be both cold stone and bloodied meat.

I did not believe in God when I was growing up, because I was taught to respect authority by fearing it, was not allowed to choose my rage, my obeisance or my purpose of belief, told what to believe and not why. God and its definition then to me never made sense because I think I could never connect what I was told to what I feel very sure I knew it was. God would never ask me to love him and love myself on the slavery-behest of the control surface of a narcissist and abuser, not my parent or a stranger of merit.

I needed to know God by understanding myself, start writing my own story of enough length that I could find the moral interrogate and keen, the narrative and context less obscene and more appropriate to purpose.

But when I knew there were people who cared about me who would never know me but would yet put in place a mansion and a hospital where I would be born, now thrice, as of this past Monday, got back a third chance to be whole and pursue the Great Task, define my purpose by meeting it because I chose it, because for the first time it was what I wanted, what I believed, what made sense about the universal purpose I had long tried to grok for the first time in my life.

I believe in God's Word now, because I have defined it for myself. It has nothing to do with organized religion, but the strength of collective humanity, of people who took me into their homes and hearts, fed me sup and as much water as I needed to drink, brought me clothing and shoes I couldn't afford and who finally convinced me in kindness and patience I deserved to be garbed and shod and not be hungry or thirsty, to not tread water but to find the strand beyond and build my own mansion there.

And most importantly, to do that for others, to be a Warrior of Peace. I am not a hero, but now I can do heroic things, and that's more important and more effective. I am not Doomslayer, but Doom-Meter, The Man Who Laughs because he wishes the demons to fear my howling rage, and to inspire the people I meet to laugh with me if that's what they want.

Stopping me will not break my heart, nor will it kill me. It will only give me a needed moment borne to catch my breath and thanks for a short blessing of thought. And then I'll be back beside Tommy in his powered suit, there to fight the good fight and make sure no-one like me ever need scream in terror and horror at their own breaking.

Paying it forward is a BFG: a Blessing From God.

And my God is the Avatar of what happens incarnate and mighty, when at least one person cares for another, acknowledges their pain and grief, the joy and rage of a stranger, tells them by exposition and respectful silence of reckoning that their pain matters, their joy matters, that their being matters because they have every right to be, and choose, the fundamental duty and doom of self-sustaining feedback looped purpose, when someone knows them in their sight.

Sheol is the Scourging-place, the Absence, from whence God's face turns away in regret and weeping, thus becoming a weeping-place. But it is imaginary. It cannot be unless we believe briefly that it is.

And my Father's house is full of many mansions, and in every one of us may call their berth in the House of Humanity.

-2Paw.