Was looking back through some drafts for something and now I feel like I need to apologize for the huge meltdowns I seem to regularly have.
The idea seems simple, "just reach out when you're not feeling well." It always feels like this comes from people who have larger support networks or connections. Reach out to friends? There's 2 and I worry so much about overburdening them when I'm feeling bad. Family? Nope. I have family, but it feels like they've all but forgotten I exist. Mental health services? Money. These things don't come free in the US.
Though the biggest fear is reaching out and... nothing. What do you do when every ounce of your being is convinced no one wants you around, and when you try to prove it wrong you get silence?
This is going to wander off into rambling if I keep going too much longer. So I'm just gonna stop here.
