• it/its

// the deer!
// plural deer therian θΔ, trans demigirl
// stray pet with a keyboard
// i'm 20 & account is 18+!
name-color: #ebe41e
// yeah



somewhatnifty
@somewhatnifty

eggbug came to me in a dream and declared me queen of cohost. thus i declare these to be the new priorities for our developers:

  • only see posts from users that personally hate you. this will ensure a healthy exposure to differences in opinion
  • tired of seeing posts more when they get shared? see posts less when they get shared. only see posts that nobody's so much as liked. i only listen to obscure independent posts
  • new "dislike" button replaces "like" entirely. this is a tough world and your posting needs tough love
  • silence a user but only for a week or so in the hopes they'll get over their current obnoxious bit/weird bugbear/incomprehensible personal beef by then
  • alt text automatically converted to cursive unicode script to make it prettier to look at
  • Code Your Own Algorithm! write your own elaborate SQL to get what you figure is the best possible experience out of website. if we can last ten minutes of all your jackass code before the entire server rack explodes we will draw a pretty picture of eggbug holding a trophy
  • 18-Minus Content checkbox for content not safe for us older users to view, like "i don't remember dial-up modems" or "my back sure is free of random pains right now" or "perhaps some elements of the human experience cannot be expressed entirely through references to the simpsons (seasons 1-9)"
  • from now on when you share a post you have to type it out again from memory to prove you read it. no fake post fans allowed
  • new superpowered Hyper-Vagueposting. all nouns are forbidden
  • read receipts on comments. OP can now show commenters they hate them personally by reading a comment and not immediately interacting with it, which is of course the only reason you would do that
  • the bluesky bigotry slider but only for racism against the british. when you try to turn it down it pings back even further up
  • images are now hosted in Fahrenheit 451 encoding. some guy remembers what the image looked like and comes to everyone's house one by one to describe it to them
  • too tired to have an opinion on today's discourse? can't bring yourself to not post about it? use the Hot Take Slot Machine to pick a random post from the maelstrom and automatically reblog it for you with the tag "#the only one of you shitheads that Gets It". it'll probably be fine

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in reply to @somewhatnifty's post:

  • all images will be classified by a classification model and re-built when needed with a diffusion model from the saved classifications because the images are too big (the two models are trained on different datasets)

Silence a user for a limited amount of time is genuinely something I’ve really wanted a social media site to invent for ages lol

Especially if i can temporarily hide new posts from someone I currently follow and still be following them when the time limit ends