In no particular order!
'The World is Not Enough', Garbage. The most 1999-sounding theme imaginable. Reaching for the future, stuck with its ankle caught in the door of late-90s strings and soggy synths.
'Skyfall', Adele. Because come the fuck on. When someone isn't Miss Shirley Bassey but still belts out a Bond theme that carries all the hallmarks of a classic from its earliest era without sounding kitsch? Glorious.
'From Russia With Love,' John Barry. The instrumental is a thing of beauty. It wanders in, humming a sweet tune about distant lands and pleasant sunsets, then up and belts you across the face with the occasional blast of shrieking brass.
'Goldfinger,' Shirley Bassey. Look, I don't want to tell you how to live your life, but if you want to disagree with me on this I'm allowed to come to your house and rearrange all the mugs in your kitchen so you're fucked up trying to make a coffee for the next three weeks. Don't fucking argue with me on this. It's a classic for a reason. We all know it.
'You Know My Name,' Chris Cornell. Did he know he was doing a Bond movie? No, seriously. Was he aware this was gonna be a Bond song? Because I can't tell whether or not the brief was clear when Mr. Cornell started drumming his fingers on his desk and writing, and it's all the better for it. "Arm yourself because noone else here will save you" set the tone for the rest of Daniel Craig's run. Shame it wasn't all as good as this song.
'Live and Let Die', Paul McCartney & Wings. Now, this is an odd choice, because I actually don't like it. But I like what it was. It's jarring. Soulful, then frantic. Discordant, busy, strident and bombastic without any real substance. Do you think Paul McCartney met Timothy Dalton and realized how fucking cool he was? I don't. It's the only excuse for this. But it is, somehow, still up there for just how hard it went.
Dr. No - The Three Blind Mice, in a Jamaican dialect. Terrible. They had no fucking clue what they were doin'.
From Russia With Love - Good shit, but, it's too masc-leaning to start. These songs really, REALLY work when sung by a woman. It makes me feel like the song is an outsider perspective INTO Bond.
Goldfinger - HE'S THE MAN. They got Shirley Bassey back 3 times in total, and for good reason. She's amazing, and so is this.
Thunderball - Tom Jones what the fuck do you mean, "He strikes, like Thunderball", like it's a kind of snake or something.
You Only Live Twice - Augh fuck I can't remember who this was, it was someone's daughter, but it's shite, fake Japanese-style music of the time, just, not great.
On Her Majesty's Secret Service - First time the music had no lyrics, the synth had to help out. Fuckin' mint. Oh, wait, no, double feature.
We Have All The Time In The World - Actually works into the movie, AND it's fuckin' Louis.
Diamonds Are Forever - Oh shit everyone was wrong and hated OHMSS, we gotta pull the emergency cord, get back Connery and Shirley. Good, otherwise, but, desperate.
Live And Let Die - Paul McCartney was in the BEEEEETLES. the Beetles.
The Man With The Golden Gun - He Has A Powerful Weapon (shitfart)
The Spy Who Loved Me - It's good, but the Alan Partridge cover was a little better, if you ask me.
Moonraker - Bring back Shirley again, but kinda slow and shite. Moonraker sucked.
For Your Eyes Only - From here on, I don't care. This was when Roger Moore was at his creepiest, diving at 20 year old women while being a wrinkly ol' fuck, it's shite.
Octopussy - See above, but, ffffucking hell what kind of name is that. Never gets old.
A View To A Kill - Duran fuckin' Duran? Oh, man, maybe they'll keep this goin', it's pretty good.
The Living Daylights - A-HA?!?!?!!?! WHOAAAA OOOAAAAHHH THE LIVING DAAAYLIIIIGHTS Oh man, Here's to a lifetime of this.
License to Kill - Shite. Gladys Knight? Nah, disrespecting this one.
Goldeneye - Pierce Brosnan was pretty goddamn good, to start up at least. So was this.
Tomorrow Never Dies - Shitfart. Bad film I don't like, can't remember the song + 3 ciders deep
The World Is Not Enough - Garbage. BUT THE BAND THIS TIME aaa this was okay, I think.
Die Another Day - Fuck aff.
Casino Royale - Ooooooough. Ooog. OOooooo. Let's hope these songs stay as fuckin' good as You Know My Name.
Quantum of Solace - I mean, I can blame the writer's strike on everything else, but, the song does fuckin' suck.
Skyfall - OoooooooOOOOooohhgh. Adele.
Spectre - Kind of another shitfilm, as I recall. It had a big explosion, though. But I always hate the "This bad guy was responsible for ALL the other movies so far AAA" twist in ANYTHING that happens.
No Time To Die - I really can't remember aaaaaaand I'm done typing. I fuckin' love me some Bond. Imagine I added a number at the end of each one, but I'm dumb mouse can't count.
