Im starting to get worried about how tired I am all the time and how little sleep I end up getting. None of what I do get feels restful. I'm starting to get hallucinations again which hasn't happened in a long while (Tuesday night, I thought I saw someone crouched down in a dark hallway on the rooftop observatory at work and as I approached them they vanished into thin air). Yesterday, I could not stay awake during work hours (I ended up not missing any classes I had to teach, but nothing else was productive). I had a rather high dose of caffeine on Monday and immediately fell asleep 10 minutes later in my office. I nearly overslept and missed a lecture.
I hate this. I feel broken. I hate how stressful sleep is for me and hate how when life gets rough my brain decides that sleep is bad, actually. I'm weeks behind on grading, I feel like all my days are running together, and I feel like I'm just kind of floating through life.
I'm thankful I've not had any sleep paralysis recently. He is the last person I want to see right now. My stress dreams have all be awful, but they've not risen to the level of nightmare, I don't think (I don't actually know what the definition of nightmare is these days)
Anyway, it's 11:20. I should try for sleep I guess
It's 2 hours later. Awful dream :/