Letting go of the notion of telling myself "no one's going to be upset at me if I do this."
Because people will get upset. I'm a furry, which means that any time I post a commission, people will get angry enough to cut me out of their lives. I'm on social media, a place where you can become excoriated by a few thousand strangers for cooking your neighbor food. I'm trans, so people will get upset with me for being alive within their field of view. I cannot exist without making people upset.
So I am letting go of the notion that no one will be upset with me, and embracing the notion instead of "I will not give a shit if people get upset with me if I do this."
The negative side effects may be that I may wind up more dismissive of people when I shouldn't be, in order to preserve my own self-esteem - but at this stage I listen to others who have negative opinions about me (or someone who fits my general description) to such a degree that I'm mentally paralyzed. I need to have the ability to stand up for myself and go "no, you're incorrect" and endure whatever happens next.
If they respond by destroying the friendship, all that means is more time in my life for other, better friends.
The part of this that I hate is the notion of having to harden my heart at the exact time I'm learning to open it up for the first time since I was a kid. But that's just life as a queer person online.
I don't need to be cruel, but I do need to learn how to handle cruelty. It's something I've never been that good at doing, and I feel it's something that no one should have to get good at doing. But that's life, you know? Just because I shouldn't have to, doesn't mean I don't need to.
