UNITED MILITARY SOLUTIONS
PROCUREMENT PROSPECTUS
EYES ONLY
United Military Solutions has been the premier solutions provider for rising and established powers galaxy-wide since its formation after the Landsknecht Wars. We have been the go-to firm for resource extraction, personnel depletion, materiel destruction, anti-civilian operations, and counter-intelligence sweeps. Despite our year-over-year growth and consistent delivery of just-in-time ordnance solutions to our clients, our sustainability is under threat from an heretofore unconsidered quarter: rations.
While our general staff, executive suite, and administrative team of course occupy UMS orbital stations and lend-lease territories occupied by friendly powers, our Solutions Appliance Specialists and their support staff often live and work in active warzones and distant, lightly developed territories. In addition to the daily dangers faced by our pilots and staff, their morale is being sharply impacted by our laxity in logistical planning. Desertion and AWOL staffing incidents have increased year-over-year to an unsustainable threshold. This issue is worsened by the frequent failure of DULLAHAN overrides due to sabotage and other lossage. The following is an excerpt of a transcripted conversation (acquired at great risk by our counter-intelligence department) between one such pilot and their new paymasters.
FEDERAL ARMY STAFF SERGEANT GINA VINTEK:
- Your background check came back, corpo.
SOLUTIONS APPLIANCE SPECIALIST NORA "FROGGY" WINDELL:
- And? You haven't shot me, so there must be good news.
V:
- It's clear enough for Central. I still have questions, though.
W:
- If my background is clear, why am I still playing 20 questions?
V:
- Central decides if you live as a Federal citizen or as a prisoner of war. I decide if you get to pilot a mech or sweep the floors.
W:
- Ah. Well, I'll answer the best I can.
V:
- First: why?
W:
- Why what?
V:
- Why desert the UMS? And why here? Fedland has been on the backfoot, and corpos usually back the winning team. If you were going to run, why not run to the Soldiers of Solus or Grineer Labs?
W:
- Two reasons.
V:
- Go on.
W:
- First, Feds don't have piles of contractual obligations dictating your off-hours. Second, you guys have food.
V:
- I don't follow.
W:
- What did you have for breakfast this morning?
V:
- I'm asking the questions, corpo.
W:
- Okay, I'll go first. For the last six months before I went AWOL, my breakfast was a liter of nutritional supplemental fluids, fed intravenously through a plug in the suit. There was enough supply there in a big tank under the seat to sustain me for three years. Three times per day I'd feel this cold fluid run into my body and dream of the kind of grub I've been eating every day in this brig. Can you imagine drinking nothing besides your own sweat? For months at a time?
V:
- That's how your people stand sentry so long.
W:
- Yep. 96 hours of intravenous nutrition, in-cockpit waste disposal, and constant reminders from DULLAHAN to stay alert. It works, but it's fucking misery.
V:
- You aren't getting pity out of me.
W:
- I don't need your pity. I had breakfast. My first morning as a federal POW was spent crying over a cleaned plate of scrambled eggs. It was the first time I felt alive since I sortied for that fucking sentry post. I do not exaggerate when I say that if you do decide to waste my talents mopping out your latrines, I'll do it with a smile if it means I get solid food and cold water.
V:
- Huh.
W:
- Yeah.
V:
- Cantaloupe.
W:
- Your breakfast?
V:
- Yep.
W:
- (Windell sobs audibly) I fucking love cantaloupe.
END OF TRANSCRIPT
This is just one of several similar incidents this fiscal quarter - UMS field staff have defected to Federal forces in large part because of greater personal freedom and higher-quality rations. While our contractual obligations cannot be substantially altered due to concerns with our insurance partners, aggressive acquisition of territory that can develop and sustain agricultural development aligns perfectly with our Q3 goals for logistical expansion. Further, acquisition and training of staff capable of preparing solid rations of quality sufficient to maintain our staff's loyalty is paramount.
We anticipate the board's initial reaction to mandate improvements to our liquid ration supply (including the addition of addictive chemicals to the same) and remind the board that Project Snowchain ended in failure, as the drugs added to the test pilots' liquid ration supply badly affected mission performance when the dosages did not outright kill them. There is no substitute for a hot meal.
