Andréa, Canis Lanonbinary

It's fine to not know! While Outside of Cohost it is probably what I'm most well-known for, I made my name here in mechs and so I'm not expecting everyone to be right up on it and hip! I'm working on another ask with a sort of primer on the KDARC canon, it's just running long. ^ w ^;;

KDARC's warehouses and the Vault run the complete gamut from bizarre but basically harmless to active cancers on reality that threaten to undo all of existence. Most of what's in the possession of the organization is either being researched or deemed way too fucking harmful to be left out in the wild or in the hands of those who would misuse them.

In north america's secret leader in paracausal and arcane research, what qualifies as unusual is a difficult thing to articulate when every part of one's job is just the weirdest shit imaginable, but here are some of my favorites that have come up over the years:

• The TV Remote
  This was an extended riff between @ikksnay, @F-Z-Blackheart, and I. It's an old boxy remote control that turns any room it's in into a sitcom, and a heavily clichéd one at that. The sitcom goes on for a long time, but it is divided into episodes. During the commercial breaks and episode gaps the room goes dark with minimal lighting, and those trapped in the sitcom can behave normally again. Containment procedures are easy, just find the remote (it usually hides itself) and put it in a sealed negating container during the commercial breaks. In theory, the sitcom could end, but there is no record of such an event. It is generally agreed among KDARC agents and personnel not to think to hard about why there is no record of it.
• The Garfline
  A couple years ago it was discovered that the reason for the last 40 years plastic garfield telephones keep washing up on the shores of france is because of a shipping container lost in an ocean storm in the 1980s. Naturally the article led to a lot of speculation on it being an altered item, which of course means we immediately added it to the KDARC collection. The shipping container itself is an anomalous object, acting as a large tidal clock. The amount of garfield phones in and around the container rises and falls in sync with the tides of the part of french shoreline it was discovered in.
  However,
  The phones themselves are altered items, too, and dangerous ones. Do not answer the Garfline. @Sererena did once, and immediately started showing symptoms of hating mondays, feline inclinations and traits previously not present, and unreasonable cravings for lasagna. Picking up the phone results in a slow transformation into garfield, star of the hit tv sitcom of the past 40 years [lore tidbit: since KDARC takes place in a purely furry universe, it's generally agreed garfield was a sitcom about a feline anthro housemate, not a comic strip about a lazy housepet]. Containment usually is low effort, and it's rare for the Garfline to appear anywhere other than the room housing the shipping container. In [story not yet written], during the [REDACTED] crisis, when the KDARC facility and division itself was compromised, Garflines began appearing on every desk. While not normally hostile, treat the Garfline with care and deferrence. Better safe than sorry.
• Banana Fridge
  This one was developed by a different friend Zoe, @HellboundBeast, and it gets sole credit for this one. It is a fridge that turns anything inserted into it into a regular banana.
  That includes, say, your hand.
  While it's still attached to you.
  This is lowkey one of my favorites out of any, because on the surface it's silly, but literally every description Zoe ever gave it made it fucking horrifying.
  Also this is making me realize I know a LOT of Zoes. Zoei? Zoeses? Zoexen? I dunno how to pluralize it, but I can think of 5 immediate Zoes I know off the top of my head and all of them are queer.
• Static Cling Experiment
  This is a running bit that hasn't quite made the page or any chats yet, but it's a metalevel one I like a lot. The premise is some anonymous KDARC agent tried to prove that pieces of plastic film used to back adhesives and their sometimes static cling properties were anomalous.
  The report is stupid. Like, inane, pointless, doesn't go anywhere, contradicts itself, just a real mess that ultimate doesn't come to any conclusion. It's so bad and so boring it's funny, and it has become one of the great KDARC in-jokes among all the KDARC personnel who are always happy to bring in another person on the bit. One of my favorite throwaway jokes is someone posting a meme in-universe. "What are three words every lover wants whispered in their ear? Static Cling Experiment."
  But the thing of it is—
  —it's become an anomaly itself.
  Jane Wick, both my headmate and in-universe Director of Research, later Chief Director of KDARC itself, is one of the few people to become aware of this. It becomes a plot point in a major story that [REDACTED], giving her a way to break free. It's a personal fav.
• Halo Pile
  During what's called the Invasion arc, a mutlidimensional demon machine god possesses a KDARC staff member and rewrites the universe, and it takes two years for that staff member to break free and for Jane to chain the demon god to a davenport in the KDARC main office pool. [If you've been around long enough to remember us when we went as cadejo, that's who the god is] During the time the god had taken the place of this staff member, she caused a lot of mischief, including stealing halos from angels and wearing them as a bit. Quite a number of the KDARC staff have been helltouched and cannot safely come in contact with any physical manifestation of such celestial energy without severe burns or worse, so after the demon god was exorcised and bound, the pile of Halos never got cleaned up and sit abandoned in one of the many breakrooms. They don't do anything. They just sit there and radiate light and the occasional sounds of angelic choirs.
• The Tennis Ball
  It is unclear if it is actually arcane, paracausal, or anomalous in any way, but every canid who sees it, anthropomorphic or otherwise, goes absolutely fucking feral. It is on display, but heavily kept under lock and key after one too many staffers thought it would be "a funny prank" to toss it across the open office pool, and send dozens of canid employees chasing after it across the hundreds of desks. The fifth such incident caused two hospitalizations, a dozen minor injuries, and a suspension of the prankster in question for a full calendar year.

A lot of these were written either by me, or as collaborative bits and ideas winged around while planning stories, or just hanging out with friends. A lot of people have contributed to the KDARC canon, like Ellie/Jesse/Rudie of the Trinity System, @Contextual, @VisorVixens, @Syntax-Takes, @Xyria, all the people mentioned above as well, and so many people I'm sure whose names just aren't coming to me at the moment. If you are at all familiar with the Korps universe, I'm the spooky bullshit gal and this is my funny little haunted house.

So there you have it! Some of these have not been codified before, so this was fun! Thank you for the ask!