there's as sort of just
pure joy I've been getting out of it since my realization
of finding, another part of myself I didn't even realize until it bashed me in the face
reminding me of the joy of my trans realization but without the creeping dread and imminent trauma that defined that moment
if I close my eyes and hold out my arm, in my mind's eye I see my scales...
if I focus a little on them, I'm aware of where my wings would be - proprioception even without nervous input, adding them to my mental map, the way they fold and an awareness of how the wind should feel flowing over them - and a dull, affirming ache at the points of my back where they would root
same with my tail - not there, yet in the realm of the mind, I feel it's shape and flick it side to side -
I rest in my bed and let out a gentle growl. it feels good to just make noises...
it's like a cage that I didn't even know was around me has fallen away
and I'm now aware of wings that were bound my whole life
mrrreh.......It's nice...