Anonymous User asked: If a standard American quarter was dropped from 6.9cm onto Morgan's ass, how high would it bounce? Assume standard gravity, temperature, pressure, humidity, magnetic field, crosswind, fluff, terror, irreducible gulf between men, and a spherical ass.
Please provide answers in obtuse yet charming units for both the shorted and shortless condition.
Given the distance, I feel we can pretty safely disregard atmospheric conditions, as well as the earth’s magnetic field. From a height of 6.9cm, chucking the numbers into a calculator, the coin, after a fall of ~0.11 seconds, will be traveling at approximately 1.16 meters per second.
However, here’s where the calculations get far more complex. While the braking effects of (a rather ludicrous amount of) fluff would normally be the largest concern, both the terror factors and the irreducible gulf between men lead to some… esoteric and quite spectacular effects.
The tensing of the ass muscles due to a high level of terror provides a rock-solid surface whose qualities greatly increase the bounce height. This should be enough to mostly counteract the fluff’s cushioning effects, with an almost perfect conservation of energy.
However, combined with the irreducible gulf between men, strange things happen. Energy is drawn from the spiritual tension between people, the angst and sorrow and hatred inflicted by one upon others, purposefully or without intent. homo homini lupus est, after all. Depending on the relationship between Morgan and the coin-dropper, a frankly obscene amount of kinetic energy may end up dumped into the quarter, accelerating it to high velocities that would normally violate the conservation of momentum and energy. The fastest recorded coin ass-bounce was measured at approximately 400 meters per second (with the regrettable loss of the dropper and destruction of test equipment) but current theoretical models project that, with a sufficient level of spiritual tension between Morgan and the coin-dropper, speeds of several dozen km/sec might be possible. This has not been attempted for safety reasons, for both Morgan and others’ well-being.
A final note- assuming a spherical ass, the launch angle is entirely dependent on the bounce point. The aforementioned late test subject was unfortunate enough to have the coin land in such a way-and on such a spot- that it was launched straight into their eye socket, where it fatally lodged into the brain.
I put my whole shitpostussy into this