today there was another argument over whether i'm a jaguar or a leopard. pedantic nerds won't let 'panther' go. i have appealed to the united nations for a ruling, but the authorities have forbidden me from intervening by savagely eating those that annoy me. i have decided to protest this injustice by sitting outside in the rain and looking as pitiable as possible. so far the authorities are unmoved. this is an asylum, run by madmen.
