Had to sit down on a bench by the bus stop because I was on a walk to burn all this energy I have out of nowhere and absolutely stoned by the fact consciousness is even possible, colors are so incredibly vivid, smells are enchanting, and every sound a rich chord. This used to happen to me a lot when I was younger, and even drugs never touched it. Everything becomes ecstatic and I am just lost in the unending beauty of existence. I am a tiny part of the universe experiencing itself and that is the most precious thing.
I hope it lasts a little longer. I missed this kind of happy
You'll notice a bunch of my writing talks about a disconnect between me and reality, like there's some space or gel layer between me and it
This is what happens when that layer evaporates for a little while. Weed was always a pale facsimile of this, and had the added negative of making me fall asleep
I'm sure even this is a symptom of all the psychological and neurological shit I've going on but goddamn I'm okay with that
It feels good to be a living thing. Who let us have senses? Thoughts, emotions, memory? What wondrous things! We say that rocks don't have any of those, that most materials don't, but I hope they experience in their own way, everything should get to experience at least once