so, i can only speak from my perspective, which is very biased by the sort of mech & space pilot media i am into. i like big chunky mechs (think Battletech) and sleek ships. the romanticism i see for mech pilots is being rough and tumble, hardened. gritting your teeth in your sweat-drenched tank top and showing neither the temperature of your cockpit nor the fact that you're outnumbered 10 to 1 can possibly bring you down.
as for starship pilots—my own personal preference—i could write an essay if not a novel on what i find romantic. as my late night space traveler threads on twitter (and my work in clarkesworld) attest, i think a lot about solo piloting as a metaphor for solitude, self-sufficiency, and isolation. four metal walls between you and the black of space. the perfect setting for the melancholic beauty and terror of being alone.
but, that's not the only version i romanticize—certainly the military aspect as well, which is in general a somewhat problematic setting that i among others frequently romanticize. but, as opposed to mech pilot: starfighter pilot is sleek. is capable. is perfect. exactly the right burn at exactly the right angle at exactly the right time. arcjets firing, 142 degree pivot, fox 2, thrusters. feisty, spunky hotshots with a short pixie cut and a skintight flightsuit. every movement is perfect, every kill is counted, and you're at the top—the ace.
how are they similar? a desire to prove yourself. to be better than those that would oppose you, to demonstrate yourself as the best even among comrades. to have much expected of you, and exceed those expectations. to have a skill honed to perfection, to operate a machine that is an extension of your frail and much less capable body, and do it with precision. order and protocol, a structured life, purpose and meaning always clearly granted, social interactions clear—and broken for great effect. none of this is real and little of it would be good if it was, but romantic, isn't it?
feeling a bit exhausted tonight, not going to bother editing this, hope you found the stream of consciousness to adequately answer the question.

