Anonymous User asked: Let loose the spout of euphoric rambles!
If you wanna
So. Y’all know Lena, y’all have seen Lena, everyone has- Lena is the face of most of my accounts, she’s the pink doofus everyone associates with me. Problem is, Lena’s not… me. At least, she doesn’t occupy that place in my mind as “this is me”, like a fursona does for a lotta folks.
It’s not that there’s anything wrong with her, I adore her, but she’s too… perfect? Good? She’s the things I most want to be- kind, nurturing, generous, wise, but I’m not those things all the time, and I feel weird when I feel like I might be projecting that image. So I’ve been thinking a lot about like- “well, what is ME? What am I if you distilled down my self-image and how I think I come off to people?”
The answer is Kenna. Kenna is a big, boisterous dork who has no sense of just how imposing being a big, boisterous dork can be. She’s passionate to a fault, stubborn, takes up more space than she thinks she does, can be a victim of her own emotions, she’s imperfect, like I am, like I am not afraid of admitting I am, showing people I am. She’s myself writ large- instead of being 6’3 and 300-something pounds, she’s around 13 feet tall and multiple tons, the sense of not quite fitting the world around me taken to an extreme. She’s strong, she’s loud, but she endeavors to be kind, to be gentle, not to be a danger or a burden to people around her, and she overcorrects a lot- just like me. On the surface, Kenna is a big, bold character. Deep down, she’s anxious and soft-hearted and just desires so strongly and so painfully to just be loved, accepted, despite it all.
She’s a guardian to the meek, but meek herself. She’s an unabashed glutton who isn’t afraid of living in her truth, yet all too aware of her otherness. She’s a million tiny contradictions and flaws and big, wonderful talents she feels like she stumbled into. She’s deeply flawed, yet this doesn’t make her a failure or a burden or unloved- it makes her a person. And just like me, she’s come to understand and enjoy that truth, embracing the flawed creature she is with all the love she can spare.
And when you’re the size of a double-decker bus, that’s a LOT of love to spare!
