because present me is doing that seasonal thing where i slowly recede into my shell and get real nervous about doing anything social, even just hanging out in voice chat or VR. Past me was smart in making something I enjoy also be a social event, AND make it a slight obligation so I can't just flake on it randomly until I'm not talking to anyone except my wife for like, a month
Anyway I am sick of being like this but maybe...maybe this will be the last time i do this to myself...