I get it, if I have to explain it then I'm already loosing.
Where are the dolls?
ES is a series of metaphors and concepts loosely held together with tenuous thematic thread. Dare I say that it's an aesthetic. If you want the more generically conventional language of someone like badend_doll then this isn't that. There will be no strange mushrooms and tiny clockwork machinations jumping to the will of a witch.
What you do have is a discussion of trauma, abuse, survival and the complexity of victimhood. Themes that drew me into the ES community. The feeling of feeling seen while looking for people with similar experiences to my own. Something that all of the "survivor spaces" I have attempted to navigate have failed to engage with is the fact that the people in that space are traumatised yet none the less full people. Usually it looks like people masking till nothing is talked about other than the weather. Whereas with ES it side steps many of the risks of talking directly of trauma or in many cases life in general by placing it in thematic wrapping. Not as a means of padding conversations or ignoring realities but to offer a fantasy that lets people explore the themes in a disconnected format to their own lives.
What I am writing started as a therapeutic exercise. 90% of what I write will never go anywhere near the internet. The stuff that I do put out here I want to have seen through that very specific lens of ES. Helplessness, self destruction, abandonment, fear and yes, making it strangely horny. These people aren't you, their not your parents, your abuser. In the same way that the usage of dolls, angels and other shared cannon to talk about purpose, stillness, healing, rage at impossible circumstances, etc. are all seeking to engage with themes through dissociated avatars from consensus reality. I hope to do the same here, within my own cannon inspired from my own life.