Chocolate / Ruby 💖☕

Getting a tad fed up with myself lately, if I'm being entirely honest.

I've got plenty going for me, mind, and I don't take it for granted;

it's just that I feel like I'm failing to keep up well with it at all.

I put in a lot of effort yesterday into improving myself, a good, hard therapy session to dig deep into my core issues, and pushing my social boundaries towards getting more of what I want!

So what's on today's agenda?

1. Dissociating

So today's learning experience is that I can apparently muster plenty of energy towards getting shit done on a consistent daily basis, so long as I don't also need to put much conscious effort into regulating my mood.

Once I have to deal with something emotionally demanding, all bets are off and I need to be extremely careful with the mental energy I'm likely hemorrhaging while doing literally anything that's particularly involved in conjunction to the added emotional effort.

Fortunately I've been doing really well lately, so despite the intensity of The Feelings™️ I was dealing with today, it seems to me like I've built up a bit of a reserve of resilience towards these kinds of taxing times.

I know there's a limit though, so I need to be careful and I'll probably be better off pacing myself a bit more conservatively over the next couple of days.

My therapist/counsellor has really helped me with being mindful of my own mental health. A lot of it involved guiding me through my own thought processes and practicing healthier approaches towards introspection, but I'm still so thankful for all she's done for me over the years.

Couldn't be me currently dissociating by spending an hour tweaking my headphones' equalizer against its inverse frequency response by using an art referencing tool as a tracing overlay

Nope

Not me