Part Nine of the Switch AU
A JSE Fanfic
[This is part of an ongoing fic series I started in April 2019. Marvin feels that someone is watching him, and it probably has something to do with the fact that he's starting to remember things. Luckily, others are noticing he's acting a bit odd.]
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Anti didn’t get a lot of visitors. Even the people he considered friends didn’t stop by that often, and when they did, they usually called or texted to let him know. Which is why, when his doorbell rang on Saturday morning, he elected to ignore it and continue editing the video for tomorrow.
And then it rang again. And again. And again. And by that point Will had knocked on the door to his recording room and said “Dad, I think someone’s at the door” and Anti realized that this person wasn’t going to go away. He sighed, saved the project, and stood up. Before he went to answer the door, he grabbed a switchblade from the nearest shelf and shoved it in his pocket. Just in case. You never could tell with people, sometimes.
Luckily, he opened the front door to a familiar face. Though an unexpected one. He blinked. “Marvin, what’re you doing here?”
“Well, nice t’see you too,” Marvin commented. “Fancy seein’ you here.”
“This is my apartment.”
“I know. T’at was a joke.”
“What are you doing here?” Anti repeated.
Marvin sighed, shifting position. “T’is may sound odd.”
“Just say it, dude.”
“I need a knife.”
Well, that was certainly unexpected. Anti leaned against the doorway. “Um. Why? If you’re gonna go mug someone, I don’t want my knife at the scene of the crime.”
“I’m not goin’ t’mug someone,” Marvin said, rolling his eyes. “I jus’…need to borrow one. For some time.”
Anti narrowed his eyes. Marvin was being weirdly evasive about this. But he wasn’t the type of person to go out and stab someone, so the evasion probably wasn’t one of suspicion. Maybe the best course of action would be to let him in, and then try to get the reasoning out of him. “Alright, fine. Come on in.” Anti leaned back and stepped aside, letting Marvin come into the apartment.
“Hi Mr. Marvin,” Will said, sitting at the coffee table with his DS.
“Hello, William.” Marvin smiled. “How’re you?”
“Good. It’s the weekend!” Will looked up briefly. “I think Dad wants to hurry with whatever you’re doing.”
Anti, standing next to the door to his recording room with his hand on the knob, coughed awkwardly. “Don’t call me out like this, kid,” he laughed.
“Well, it’s true,” Will said.
“I’d hate t’keep you from what’s it you were doing,” Marvin said. “We can hurry.”
“Thanks,” Anti said. “C’mon, follow me.”
Anti’s recording room had a lot of stuff on the shelves mounted on the walls, but there was one shelf in particular that he was interested in. It was surrounded by a glass case that he kept locked. This was his knife shelf. He kept it locked because one could never be too sure, having knives and a nine-year-old kid in the same apartment. “Here we are,” Anti muttered, unlocking the case.
Marvin stared at the shelf. “I…was not expectin’ t’at. Why d’you have so many?”
Anti shrugged. “Knives are cool. And you never know what sort of situation will arise. What’re you looking for? I can help you figure out which one you want.”
“Ah…” Marvin looked a little lost. “I don’ know…”
Well, this might take a while then. Anti sighed quietly, picking up one of the knives at random. “Look, the shape of the knife determines its purpose. This one’s a needle-point blade, which means it’s good for fighting, particularly stabbing. A lot of stiletto blades have a form like this.” He picked up a different one. “Or there’s a clip-point, which is good for cutting, but not so much for piercing, unless you sharpen the other side. It depends what you need the knife for.”
“You know quite a lot about t’is, don’ you?” Marvin whistled.
“I do.” Anti wasn’t able to keep a tinge of pride out of his voice. “Which is why I’ll be able to get you the best knife you need, but I need to know what you want it for.”
“Well, I…” Marvin took a step backwards. “I’m not quite…sure. I was just t’inkin’ t’at…I needed somet’ing for defense.”
Anti set down the knife. “Wait. You mean, like, to keep?”
“Not necessar—”
“No, if you want a knife for self-defense, you need your own,” Anti insisted. “Because you’ll need to carry it on you.”
Marvin squirmed a bit. “I didn’—didn’ mean t’at I wanted to keep one of yours for meself. I didn’…I suppose I didn’ t’ink I would need…I t’ought I could just borrow one of yours.”
“Yeah, well.” Anti took his phone out of his pocket and opened up his browser. “You will. I know a couple websites, I can get you something.”
“You don’ have t’do t’at,” Marvin muttered. “Jus’ forget everyt’in’.”
“Shut up, I’m doing this. I can get you a simple style, the sort of thing for beginners.” Anti scrolled through the options on his phone. “Some of them have designs or colors, you want anything like that?”
“Anti, if you’re so insistent, you can give me the website name and I’ll do it on my own,” Marvin said. “I have my own money, wouldn’ want you t’spend yours.”
“Yeah, but you’re an old man who doesn’t know how to navigate anything online,” Anti joked. “Trust me, I can spare it. Why the sudden interest in defense, anyway? You’ve been here for, what, at least a year and a half now. Seems kind of out of the blue.”
“…oh.” Marvin hesitated, looking reluctant. “Well…since Jackie…y’know, disappeared—”
Anti squeezed his phone so tightly he could’ve sworn the case cracked. “Oh.”
Marvin was quiet for a while, feeling the shift in the atmosphere. “I jus’ t’ought it would be a good idea,” he finally mumbled.
“It is,” Anti said shortly. All of a sudden, he wanted Marvin out of his apartment even more than he did earlier. “I’ll get you something, send it to you and Jackson’s house.”
Marvin nodded. “T’ank you.”
“Welcome. Now, if that’ll be all—”
“I-I’ll be goin’,” Marvin said. “See myself out.”
“Yeah, go on.”
Without another word, Marvin turned and strolled out of the room, and then the apartment, saying nothing more than a brief goodbye. Anti sighed deeply. He put all the knives back in their places on the shelf, locking the case. He probably should’ve returned to editing, but…he suddenly didn’t feel like it. With nothing else to do, he left the recording room and ended up in the living room again, sitting down on the sofa.
“Dad, what’s wrong?”
“Hmm?” Anti looked over at Will, who was staring at them. “Why do you think something’s wrong?”
“You’re rubbing your neck,” Will pointed out. “You do that when you’re upset.”
Anti froze, and lowered his hand, just then realizing that he had, indeed, been rubbing his throat. “You’re an observant kid, you know that, Will?”
“Yeah,” Will nodded solemnly. “So what’s wrong?”
“…it’s nothing,” Anti said, turning his head to stare out the window. “Nothing that you need to worry about, anyway.”
Will set his DS down on the coffee table. “Is this about Uncle Jackie?”
“No,” Anti lied.
“You miss him, huh Dad?”
Anti didn’t say anything.
“I think I get it,” Will said, kicking his feet. “I’d miss Taylor if he went away.”
“You would,” Anti agreed. “I know that.”
“So that’s how you’re doing.” Will paused. “Dad, aren’t you always saying it’s good to talk about your problems?”
“It is,” Anti said, turning away from the window. “And you know I’d listen if you wanted to talk about your problems. But this is different. This is grown-up stuff. You wouldn’t understand.”
“I understand a lot,” Will said defensively. “Like, I know that you say Uncle Jackie saved your life, and that’s why you’re friends with him. And that people sometimes don’t talk a lot when they get upset, and that’s what you’re doing.”
Anti smiled a bit. “Yeah, you got those parts right. But it’s a little more complicated than just that. Will, I don’t mean to say that you’re not smart for not understanding. You just haven’t been around as long, so you haven’t seen as much as I have. It’s like you and Michelle. You’ve been in second year, but she hasn’t, so you know a little bit more. You get that?”
Will nodded, slowly. “Then maybe you should talk to people who’ve been around as long as you.”
“Maybe,” Anti admitted. Silence fell for a moment. “Hey, don’t you have homework?”
Will squirmed. “I have all day, Dad. And Sunday!”
“If you get it done early, then you won’t have to worry about it!”
“I know what I’m doing!”
Anti laughed. “If you insist, bud.”
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Two months.
That was how long Jackie had been gone.
And that was how long Marvin had been having nightmares for.
He wasn’t exactly sure they were nightmares, per se. Nightmares implied dreaming, which implied that nothing in them was actually real or had actually happened. But Marvin was dead sure that these nightmares were more than just figments of his sleeping brain’s imagination.
It started maybe three days after Jackie had been taken. Marvin went to bed as usual, and he dreamed that he was trapped in a tiny room. No more than a closet, really, completely dark and with a door that wouldn’t open when he pulled and pushed on it. His vision wavered, and the ground swayed beneath his feet. The walls felt like they were getting closer, sucking the air out of his lungs. He wasn’t sure how long he was stuck in the darkness, but eventually the door opened, and he fell out, landing hard on the floor outside. He felt dizzy, and his thoughts wouldn’t stay in one direction. But when something grabbed his arm, he had the presence of mind to shout and try to pull away. That movement resulted in a long line of pain running down his forearm, pain so real that it woke him up.
And getting ready that morning, he screamed when he saw a long, thin scar along his left forearm, in the exact spot he’d been cut in the dream.
Jameson had heard him, of course, and come running, barging into the bathroom where he was. “Marvin?! What happened?! Are you hurt?!”
Marvin could only shake his head, and hold out his arm for Jameson to see. “When was t’is? H-how did it happen?!”
“I…Marvin?” Jameson had been confused. “I can’t tell you that.”
“Why not?!”
“Because you’ve had that longer than I’ve known you,” Jameson said patiently. “I remember seeing it that first night you stayed over.”
Marvin stared at him, then looked back down at the scar. “T'en…how come I’m only noticing it now?” He whispered.
Jameson could only shake his head.
And the nightmares—the memories—only got worse from there. Marvin didn’t know what to do about them. Jameson had made every member of the group a small charm meant to ward off any…mental intrusions during sleep, but his didn’t seem to be working. He wasn’t about to go bother JJ about it; the magician was busy with an approaching show, and when he wasn’t practicing for that, he was trying to learn a scrying spell to find Jackie. He had a lot on his plate, and Marvin didn’t want to add to that.
He couldn’t shake the feeling that something terrible was approaching. He found he was constantly looking over his shoulder, tensing at every little creek in the house. He’d recently found a job, at a nice little bookstore that he could take the bus to, and on his way there and back every day, he found his head was on a swivel, looking around for anything that could be causing this terrible feeling. That was why he’d made the impulsive decision to go over to Anti’s apartment and ask for a knife. So that when the terrible something arrived, he’d be at least a little prepared.
Coming back from that little outing in the morning, Marvin found the house quiet. He wasn’t sure what time JJ’s rehearsal started. Maybe he’d left already. Marvin sighed, and went into the living room. Immediately, Mr. Fluffington the cat appeared, winding around his ankles. “Hello, Mister,” Marvin said, bending over to pet the fluff. “How’re you today?”
Mr. Fluffington looked up at him with big green eyes, and mewed exactly once.
“T’at’s good to hear. Tell me if y’need anyt’ing.” Marvin carefully untangled his legs from the wandering kitty and walked over to his usual armchair, sitting down. He’d left a book on the nearby table last night, and was delighted to see that it hadn’t been moved at all. Jameson was trying to get him into more modern books, and it was working, Marvin was interested in many of these stories. Maybe he could finish this one today! There was apparently a sequel.
But about ten minutes later, a strange hissing sound interrupted his reading. Marvin looked up. Mr. Fluffington was standing on the windowsill, staring outside. The fur on his tail was standing up, his ears flat against his head. As Marvin watched, the cat hissed again, and briefly batted at the glass of the window with his front paw.
“What’s wrong?” Marvin marked the place in his book and stood up, walking over to the window. “Somet’ing bothering you?”
He looked through the glass to the outside. The street was empty, so there was nothing to be freaking Mr. Fluffington out. Yet, here he was. Looking…maybe scared, maybe angry? Marvin couldn’t quite remember what these signs meant. He searched the outside, scanning the street with his eyes.
And then he saw someone standing on the sidewalk across the house. Someone wearing all gray and smiling—
Marvin shrieked, scrambling backwards. He tripped over a wrinkle in the rug and landed hard on his backside. Even after falling, he kept backing up until he hit the opposite wall. “What the hell? What the hell?!” Marvin shook his head, holding his cane out in front of him like it was some kind of shield. “Leave me alone! Haven’ you done enough?!”
There was a small mrow? next to his elbow. Marvin looked down to see Fluffington nearby. The cat butted his head against Marvin’s arm.
Marvin stared at him for a while longer, then scooped Fluffington up in his arms and managed to stand up. Nope. Leave his cat out of this, thank you very much. “C’mon, we’re goin’ t’stay in my room today,” Marvin muttered. He grabbed the book off the nearby table as well. And without turning his back to the window once, he left the living room.
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A little under a week later, Anti received a phone call. That was just as unusual as having someone knock on his apartment door, but at least this one came with caller ID so he could see who it was. Didn’t make it any less weird, though, especially when he saw who it was. “Why’re you calling me?” He said immediately upon picking up the call. “I thought you got phone anxiety and couldn’t talk on the phone.”
“Charming way to start a conversation,” JJ muttered. “And no, I don’t have phone anxiety. Going silent when talking to people I don’t know is entirely different. Anyway, are you busy?”
Anti paused. “That depends on what you’re about to say.” He wasn’t, really. It was Friday so Will was at school, and he hadn’t started recording yet.
“This may sound odd, but…do you mind checking on Marvin for me?”
“That does sound odd,” Anti said flatly. “First, where are you? Second, why me? Third, Marvin is a grown man, why are you asking me to check on him? Is he sick again?”
“I’m at a rehearsal,” JJ explained. “I wanted to cancel, but Darla wouldn’t let me. Said we’re getting too close to the show to skip rehearsals now. And I need you to check on him because…well, he’s not sick. At least, I don’t think so. But he’s been acting…strange.”
“Hmm. How so?”
“Well, I don’t think he’s been sleeping well,” Jameson confided. “Sometimes, if I stay up late, I can…hear him. And he hasn’t left his room unless he needs to for work. He even takes his food in there, which is something he DEFINITELY doesn’t do. I think he’s worried about something, but won’t tell me. So maybe you could check on him? See if he’s…I don’t know, just alright?”
“Okay, back to my second question, then,” Anti said flatly. “Why me?”
“Well, normally I’d ask Jac—” Jameson cut off. Then when he spoke again, it was a bit slower, more cautious. “I tried calling Henrik, but he’s not picking up. Not responding to texts either. So it has to be you.”
Anti was silent for a while. If Marvin was worried about something, maybe that had to do with his knife-themed visit last week? Maybe it was a bigger problem than he’d let on. “Alright, fine, I can check on him,” he finally said.
JJ exhaled a breath of relief. “Thanks, Anti.”
“I’m going to bill you for my bus fare, Jackson.”
“That’s fine, just make sure everything’s okay.”
Anti hung up. Guess it was time to travel across town. Before he left, he grabbed one of his knives, and, after a little bit of hesitation, his gun as well. Just in case.
Travelling by bus, it was a little over thirty minutes to get from Anti’s apartment to Marvin and JJ’s house. Anti arrived at a little past midday, and found the door locked. Made sense, but he couldn’t exactly check on someone inside if he was stuck outside. Anti looked around to make sure the street was empty, then pulled a pair of paperclips out of his pocket, straightened them, and after a little bit of fiddling with the lock he was inside.
“Hello?” Anti slowly shut the door behind him. “Marvin? Jackson told me to check on you.” His calls received no answer. Didn’t Jameson say Marvin was staying in his room all the time? He was probably still there, then. Anti walked down the hall until he found the door to Marvin’s room, and he knocked. “Marvin? Are you in there?”
After a moment of silence, footsteps approached the door. It opened a crack, through which Anti could see a familiar turquoise-blue eye staring, wide, and then it opened all the way and Marvin was there. “Anti? What’re ye doin’ here?” he asked, surprised.
“Jackson told me to check on you,” Anti explained.
Marvin frowned. “Well, consider me checked on. T’ank you.” He started to close the door again, only to find Anti’s foot in the way. He sighed. “Really, I apprec’ate Jems’ concern, but I am fine.”
“If you’re fine, can I come inside?” Anti asked.
Marvin blinked. “Ahm…sure.” He stepped aside, letting Anti push the door open.
Marvin’s room looked the same as ever. Just a little messier than usual. Mr. Fluffington was sitting on the bed, in a loaf formation. “Please tell me you’ve been letting that cat out to eat and do his business,” Anti muttered.
“Well, of course. What am I, an animal?”
“I don’t know, if Jackson’s right and you’ve been staying in your room all day, then I wouldn’t be surprised if you’ve been keeping the cat in there with you all the time.”
Marvin bristled. “I haven’ been staying in my room all day. I go to work.”
“And apparently that’s about it.” Anti turned on Marvin. “Look, as someone whose job doesn’t give me an excuse to leave the house, I can tell you from experience that staying in one place all day is bad for you. It’ll bring you down.”
“I…I know,” Marvin stuttered. “But…t’is is…isn’ what you t’ink it is. Or what Jems t’inks it is, it sounds like.”
“Alright, then what is it?”
Before Marvin could answer, Mr. Fluffington hissed. Both men looked over at the cat in unison as he stood up, fur on end and ears flattened, and stared out the room’s door.
Marvin paled. He spun around and backed away from the doorway, eyes wide. “Close the door,” he said.
Anti blinked. “What?”
“Close the door!” Marvin yelled. He turned and ran until he was as far from the door as possible, gripping his cane tight. “Why are you jus’ standin’ there?! Close it!”
“Why are you freaking out so much?” Anti said, exasperated. “What, ‘cause the cat’s freaked out?”
“Jus’ close it! Do it!” Marvin closed his eyes, covering his ears with his hands. His cane clattered to the floor.
“I don’t under—alright, fine.” Anti huffed. He turned, and reached for the doorknob. And then he stopped. His eyes lost focus for a moment, staring into nothing. Thoughts got lost inside a gray fog.
And then Marvin screamed.
Anti had his knife drawn and his gun halfway out before he knew what was happening. He spun around to see Marvin had fallen to his knees, burying his face in his hands. “Hey!” Anti ran across the room to stand next to him. “What happened?”
Marvin didn’t move for a long moment. And then he raised his head. Two thin streams of blood were leaking from his eyes.
Anti stumbled back. He remembered this. It had happened before, a few months ago, and it had happened when—
His head whipped around the room, scanning the surroundings. “I know you’re there,” he growled. “Scared to show yourself?”
Silence. Anti backed up, pulling his gun from its holster. He turned his head left, and then when he turned it back to the right there was a grinning face inches from his own. Anti cried out and started to raise his gun, but then a blackened hand snapped out, fingers wrapping around his throat. The hand smacked his head against the wall once, twice, three times, then let go, letting him sink, dazed, to the floor.
He stayed there, slumped, for a while, until he heard a loud meow. Anti shook his head, looking down to see the cat next to him, resting his front paw on his leg. Fluffington butted his head against Anti’s arm, then darted towards the door and back again. “Wh…?” It was only then that Anti realized Marvin was gone. “Oh, I think the fuck not.” He climbed to his feet. His gun was missing, possibly dropped by him, but he didn’t have time to look for it. “Kitty, stay here, I’ll get him back.” And he ran.
The front door was wide open. Running outside, Anti looked around. He caught the tail end of a brown jacket—Marvin’s jacket—disappearing around the corner. He growled, slammed the door behind him, and broke into a sprint.
He turned the corner and saw Marvin right away, walking down the empty street as if in a daze. “Hey! Get back here!” Anti ran, catching up to Marvin easily. He grabbed him by the back of the jacket and spun him around, staring into wide, blank, bleeding eyes. “Marvin, snap the fuck out of it! You’re stronger than this!”
Marvin’s head slowly tilted to the side, as if trying to hear the words but finding it difficult. Laughter came from somewhere, and the sound of whispering. Marvin’s eyes suddenly narrowed. Anti saw what was coming a moment before it happened, throwing himself backwards in time to avoid the sudden swing of Marvin’s cane. When had he picked that back up? Anti shook his head. Not important. “I’m not your enemy! Put that down!”
Another swing. Anti couldn’t quite avoid this one, but managed to cover his head, so the topper of the cane hit his arms and not his temple. He backed up, eyes searching the street. “Where’s your gray friend now?” He half-yelled. “What, he’s gonna make you do all the fighting? Come on, Marvin! It’s Distorter! Remember what he is!”
The blank expression on Marvin’s face shifted a little, but then the blood streams from his eyes thickened. A small sound of pain came from his throat, and he swung again. Sloppily this time, and Anti dodged easily.
“He tried to kill Henrik!” Anti shouted. “He tried to kill me! He probably would’ve killed Jameson—your best friend Jems, remember?! Hey, remember how he kidnapped Jackie and we haven’t seen him in months?! Or how he’s probably done something awful to you that you that you’ve forgotten?!” His voice dropped to a low tone. “Or are you too afraid to remember?”
Marvin froze, eyes flickering. Slowly, he reached up and grabbed his head with one hand. His expression became pained. His breathing started speeding up, and for a moment, his eyes settled solidly on a spot next to Anti.
A message. Anti lunged to the side, towards the spot Marvin was looking at. He connected with something solid, which cried out as both of them fell to the ground.
Anti blinked, and it was like a curtain had been lifted. Distorter was there, clearly visible now that whatever mental trick he’d been using to filter out his presence had been lifted. Anti had him pinned to the ground, practically kneeling on his chest. Yet he was still smiling. “/Oh, nice job,/” he said, tone cold. “/Maybe you’re smarter than you look./”
“What,” Anti growled, “the fuck are you doing to him?”
“/Maybe he’s just remembering who his friends are./” Distorter shrugged awkwardly. “/You should be worried about what the fuck I’m gonna do to you./”
There was movement in the corner of Anti’s vision. He glanced toward it, seeing Distorter’s arm was moving, slithering across the sidewalk pavement. He was holding something—
Anti yelped, scrambling sideways, just in time to avoid—
BANG!
The sound of the gunshot left ringing in his ears. He shook his head, climbing to his feet. Distorter stood up, too. His left shoulder twisted awkwardly, arm dangling., but he showed no reaction. In his right hand, he was holding Anti’s gun. “/Hmm…that’s a bit too quick, huh?/” Distorter dropped the gun, kicking it away. “/For the likes of you, at least/.”
“What is your deal with me?!” Anti suddenly screamed, snapping completely. “I get it, Volt and Jackson got in your way, what did I do?!”
“/Well, you did shoot at me that one time,/” Distorter drawled. “/Do you even remember that?/ Eh. /It’s also the fact that you EXIST, you know?/”
“Oh really? Maybe I have a problem with you existing, too!” Anti reached into his pocket and pulled out his knife again. “Maybe you should just get out of here and leave us all alone!”
Distorter laughed. “/Not the best comebacks you can come up with, huh? /Or is it just that you don’t want to voice your actual thoughts where they can be heard?/”
Something inside Anti’s chest froze, beating ice through his veins. “Wh…what do you mean…?” He asked, voice hushed.
Distorter’s head lolled to the side. /“Oh, I’ve seen inside your head, remember? /All the sordid details of your past are there for me to see! /All those bloody thoughts are broadcast clearly, brainwaves more like radio waves./ Wow, they let you have a kid with you, when you think the things you do?/ Unbelievable! /Does he know how often his dad thinks about drawing strangers’ blood, or—/”
Anti screamed, and lunged. He was holding a knife in his hand. Next thing he knew the blade was covered in red, and Distorter was laughing, laughing, laughing, as the same red soaked through his gray shirt in five different places. Anti staggered back, breathing hard. He looked down at his hand. And the knife fell from his shaking fingers as horror dawned on him.
“/Are you trying to prove my point?!/” Distorter was bent over with laughter. “/God, I couldn’t have planned that better if I tried!/ Seriously!/ You—/”
BANG!
Distorter staggered sideways, a sixth red stain blossoming on the side of his shirt. Anti stared at it, then followed the path the bullet would’ve taken…over to Marvin, pointing the gun with trembling hands.
“I t’ink it’s a little diff’rent when it’s you,” Marvin said. He sounded a little shocked, but his voice didn’t waver. “How many of these do you t’ink you can survive?”
Distorter’s smile never wavered, but something changed in his black eyes. Somehow, he now looked distinctively…displeased. “/Marvin… /Marvin, I can’t believe you would do this./”
“Don’ sound so betrayed!” Marvin shrieked. “I remember what you did to me!”
Tension filled the moment, each pause waiting for something to happen as all three remained frozen. Then, without another word, Distorter turned on his heel and started walking away. Only a few steps later, and anyone watching had their vision fuzz over, and he was gone.
Marvin let out a breath he’d been holding. He turned to look at Anti, still standing frozen, and walked toward him. As soon as he got close enough, Marvin leaned down and picked up the blood-covered knife from where it had fallen on the ground. “Do you…want this back?” he asked.
“Don’t give that to me,” Anti whispered.
Marvin seemed a little surprised at the response, but he nodded, flipping it closed and stuffing it in his pocket. He looked a little unsure about what to do with the gun, and ended up just holding it. “We should…should go back, right?”
Anti didn’t say anything. But he nodded. And when Marvin started walking, he followed.
They arrived back at the house, finding that nothing inside had changed. Anti settled down on the sofa in the living room, staring into nothing while Marvin made sure the cat was alright. When Marvin returned, holding Mr. Fluffington in his arms, Anti was still in the same place.
Marvin sat in his usual chair, letting Fluffington loaf on his lap. “Anti…” He cleared his throat. “You seem kind of…shaken. Do you…want to talk abou’ it?”
“No.”
Marvin watched Anti for a while more. Then nodded. He set the gun and the knife on the nearest table, then picked up a book and started to read.
A few minutes passed in silence.
“It’s not my fault,” Anti suddenly blurted out.
Marvin looked up. “Of course not.”
“It happens sometimes. You know, your thoughts get kind of carried away?”
“Of course.”
“And you don’t really even want them.”
“No, not at all.”
“But sometimes you just keep thinking the same thing, just kind of going in circles and feeling the same thing and it’s like you can’t let go of it like some kind of fucking obsession and you know it’s not—” Anti broke off, taking a deep shaky breath.
Marvin nodded. “It’s not good, is it?”
“No.”
More silence.
For a while, they just stayed there. After a few minutes passed, Anti shifted position on the sofa, ending up closer to Marvin. After ten more minutes, he relaxed a bit, curling into the couch cushions. Twenty minutes after that, and Anti had closed his eyes. He wasn’t asleep. But he felt like he could’ve fallen asleep, if he wanted. The silence was as warm and soft as being wrapped in a blanket.
Marvin didn’t say anything. Sometimes you needed words. Sometimes you’d already said all you could. And that was fine. You’re allowed to take your time.