Trying to break into The New Yorker

Producer & Programmer at https://www.sunsetvisitor.studio/
Made 1000xRESIST, now making [REDACTED]
Gamedev and Gundam shitposting (sometimes the shitposts have a lot of effort behind them)
Avatar from "Space Cuties Picrew" by Gabby DaRienzo https://linktr.ee/gabbydarienzo
Trying to break into The New Yorker
my roommate and i used to always say this in college as a greeting when we walked in our bedroom
Boy, applying the "universal New Yorker caption" to this one sure takes a turn for the literal. 
But what if the caption read, "Please no meat touching, ma'am" ?