DAITENKEN

Ougy Online

  • he/they

AKA obee58, irthomleniter
almost not a college student | obnoxiously white | ∞
early 20s but sure doesn't feel like it

music game all-rounder
DJMAX RESPECT V S10 Diamond I
NOISZ STΔRLIVHT Conqueror 12 (pre-3.123 tho)

current fuel: sweets and treats


idadeerz
@idadeerz

i always read the comments on my videos and songs, because it makes me happy to read what other people think of it!

and at first, i thought this comment was cool; until i learned this is in reference to Patricia Taxxon's latest video essay. in it, she very openly expresses relating to (sexual) furry art because of her autism and her therianism. apparently, people think that means she's a zoophile. apparently she's bad enough now1 that we have to give her the Voldemort treatment where she can't even be directly named.

hey — i'm sorry — if all i am to you is "$furryArtist but unproblematic", then that's fucking weird? i'm not Patricia Taxxon but unproblematic. i'm not 4lung but unproblematic. i'm ida deerz. you should take me as me. if my value to you is only determined by how far i stand in the shadows of people you don't like, then i hope you're prepared to be disappointed. i don't constantly check what all the evil people in the business are doing so i can avoid going down the same path. i used to do that, and it made me feel miserable because i wasn't focusing anymore on what i wanted to express in my art. i was constantly testing everything i made against the imagined audience in my head, and scrapping ideas i thought they might not appreciate. if anything, the driving focus behind my work as 'ida deerz' has been letting go of all of that, and if that's not the takeaway you get from my music, then i invite you to listen to it again a bit more closely. if what i make ends up similar in nature to the works of all those people you hate, then so be it.

i grew up in a cult.2 i haven't been inside the public school system since, what, since i was 6 years old? i never had friends. i never properly learned how to socialize with people. that is a comparatively recent thing for me; i only started figuring that out once i started HRT and i started shaping my own identity, and it was a struggle to even arrive at this point. i've bullied people. i've obsessed over people. i've made people uncomfortable. i've made really dumb mistakes that no "normal" person would make, and with enough time i'm sure you will hear about all of them. so stop holding me to any standards of perfection, please? i have enough reasonable boundaries and opinions that i hold myself and others to. but after all that i've been through, masking any of my unapologetical weirdness is not a limitation i want to impose on myself.

and when someone speaks at length about feeling othered and abused, being made to feel lesser than a human, and thus having a hard time relating to humans and how they interact with eachother? what am i supposed to say to that, other than that i relate? do people really want me, the musician behind fucking "PUPPY TF!!" of all things, to disavow someone being a dog on the internet? really?

i'm not aspiring to be a replacement for anyone else. you're either here for me and how i express myself, or you're not.


1. granted, i have read there were accusations of sexual harassment against her; but i also read that those accusations were dropped, and all we're left with is this bullshit video going "i was wrong on that! but she still totally wants to fuck dogs. and her music sucks. and her videos suck". like, honestly, there's nothing of substance here, what the hell is anyone supposed to do with this?

2. as far as New Age is considered a cult, at least. i am absolutely willing to call it one. if it drives people to these levels of paranoia and conspiratorial thinking that they're willing to isolate themselves and retreat to their own bubble and force their whole environment and family into compliance with it, then sure, it's absolutely a cult in my book.


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in reply to @idadeerz's post:

Hi I just wanted to say I recognise the individual in that highlighted comment and he is genuinely a weird person who's always wording things in a convoluted or roundabout way. He's also very problematic himself in my personal experience with him, so I have no idea why he's treating "x current problematic person" like voldemort. Your music is great, I'm sorry this weirdo brought usual hypocritical internet standards to it.