Whackbot

The esteemed Madame Noir has been with the eccentric Big Red for quite some time. She's put up with the gluttonous lout for too long, and it's about time she put in her weight. Big Red seems to agree. Come see how these two come together and build a dirty bond in this story!

Read here, or on AO3

art by: Yoru

New story dropped. This time it's about Big Red, that knife-toting weirdo and this hot girl she found! (CW: Death, Blood, and some light molestation.)

Madame Noir belongs to @LlutcenIutsenYutzen
art by borisgrim414 (on twitter)

Read HERE,
on FA
or on my blog
...

Where there is light, so to is darkness. This was true, even in the bright and sunny town of Charlottesburg. Deep in the north east, far from the bright beach town, was the Charles Forest. Covered in tall trees that block out the Sun, the Forest was said to be ‘Eternal Night’ by many of the locals. For that reason, the forest had been left alone, save for the particularly brave. Many dive in, and many don’t get far before returning...or disappearing. As such, many would not be aware that deep within this forest stood a Mansion, which weathered the test of time. Windows broken, and parts of it reclaimed by nature, one would rightly believe it was an abandoned home...but if one were to sate their curiosity, they would find that seeing isn’t always believing.

Inside the mansion was like walking into another world. It was tended to perfectly, without traces of dirt or grime anywhere. Candles burning a bright, unnaturally blue fire illuminated the stairs and grand hallways. Pictures of fine art were hung all over the walls, despite being withered away by time. Fine cutlery, polished wood...It was amazing how such a place could look beautiful on the inside. If the blue flames didn’t give away the secret, the sight of a small, red creature with horns and hooves scurrying about gave a large clue. The Imp was scurrying up the stairways, panting as he ran though Hallways, and grunting as he pushed through large, onyx-colored doors. With great distress, he called out.

“Madame Noir, a moment of your time!!”

Madame Noir…For the select few that new of that name, it brought a chill to their spine. For the Madame herself, it made her cold heart swell with glee. In the reflection of her mirror, her striking gaze looked at the Imp. He began to shudder in fear, while she, sitting in front of her desk mirror, was brushing her luscious crimson hair.

“...You know how impolite it is to barge in. I’m sure you have a reason for interrupting me, yes…?”

Her calm, husky voice was like honeyed poison. She could see the Imp swallow his fear as he answered her.

“M-madame, there is a disturbance!”

“Yes – that would be you. Get to the point, please.”

“That’s just it! W-we were trying to take care of it, b-but...But it is out of our power!”

The brushing of her hair stopped. Laying the brush on the desk, Madame Noir turned around to face this Imp. Though her action was simple, everything about her called for the Imp’s attention. From the start, Noir was extraordinary – her beauty was exemplary even with the absence of certain facial features. With no mouth whatsoever, and only a shadow of a nose, the woman with body made entirely of Darkness had only golden eyes to show her allure. Red hair fell over one of her eyes, leaving one golden eye staring at him with her peculiar, multi-ringed irises. Beyond her face, the mistress of the mansion had a sense of style that screamed: ‘Even shadows can have weight.’ Her slender neck was covered with a choker, while her chest was covered by a buttoned jacket, much like that of an Equestrian rider. However, this jacket was specifically made to hold the massive, shadowy breasts of Noir. The jacket’s buttons appeared to be strained, and the clothing on her bottom did not have an easier time. In contrast to the indigo coloring of her shirt and choker, the crimson-haired woman wears a simple, white skirt. Between the Imps, they argue whether her skirt was a mere short skirt or miniskirt. Such a debate came about simply because of the regal woman’s heft everywhere else!

A healthy, pudgy stomach was easily seen when the Madame stood. Even seated, one could guess she was well fed, despite the Imps never seeing her eat. This was to say nothing of her lower body. Madame Noir’s leg has long since crossed over the other, letting the thickness and curve of her legs be seen. The Imp’s eyes were tracing the legs that were wider than he was. Sweat dripped down his face as his urgent thoughts were melting away into a lustful fugue.

“...I’ll give you 5 seconds to explain yourself before I return you to Hell.”

“W-wait!” shouted the Imp. “P-please understand! W-what we saw was no mere beast! I think it may be-”

A crash was heard. The small, lesser demon jumped, while Madame Noir’s eyes widened.

“That sounded like something important. Where did you last encounter this creature?”

“The Pantry!!”

Hearing this, the thought of a wild beast breaking into her home was in her mind. Madame Noir reclined in her desk seat, closing her eyes to concentrate. In time, the world around her began to sink into darkness. The Imp, the desk and mirror, the photos of her adversaries...All was swallowed up into the abyss. Now in her element, Noir began to seek out the shades of Light permeating the Shadows of her home. The flickering of light below her eyesight brought her attention toward it.

“….So it IS the Pantry. Likely a hungry beast. Perhaps I can use this to my benefit…”

The light got stronger as the Matron of Shadows advanced toward it. Once engulfed in the light, Madame Noir stepped out of the shadows of the Pantry to find boxes, urns, and bags of food torn up. The sound of the one responsible was nearby, hunched over and chewing. The click of her high-heeled boots echoed silently against the sound of ravenous chewing as Madame Noir stepped toward the Beast with her hand open and radiating a powerful aura.

“You’ve made quite a mess of things. I’ll ease your hunger – just don’t struggle…”

“Whu-huh!? Who said that?”

Noir did not expect a response, so a response with a voice stopped Noir in her tracks. What Noir thought was a beast appeared to be a Woman! This feral, gray skinned human turned around, and looked at her with piercing, red eyes. The woman then stood up, letting Noir see the truth of this woman as she stood taller than her – This was no human woman. The horns on her head, her pointed ears, and the limp body of an Imp within her teeth was more than enough evidence of this intruder’s true self. She spits the corpse onto the ground, and licked over her plump, blood covered lips.“Ooh, so now it makes sense!” exclaimed the large woman. “Some bootleg demon BITCH made herself a domain~! Ha, no wonder all the food doesn’t taste like hot ass!”

The crass language of the harsh-voiced woman made Noir’s well-kept eyebrows furrow. She rose her hand toward this under-dwelling woman and posed an ultimatum. “Your rudeness is noted,” said the annoyed matron. “Now leave, else I obliterate you.” The possibilities of carnage swimming in Noir’s thoughts was interrupted by this woman, who grabbed her arm and squeezed it tightly. Noir could see just how tall this woman was now, for she was being loomed over by the grinning Intruder.

“Wow. NO WONDER you’re in this mansion by yourself! First person y’meet other than those walking snacks, and first thing y’do is start spittin’ out threats?! Pfft, girl, you need some dick in your life!”

The Matron of Shadows looked at this loud-mouthed intruder with wide eyes. At first, she was shocked at how fast this woman cleared the gap, then she was appalled by such crass language coming from this gray harlot. Swiping her hand away, the Intruder chuckled as Madame Noir returned to a neutral position a few steps away. “You will find that I have no issue finding pleasurable company,” Madame said as she flipped her hair. “Regardless, you are clearly no ordinary woman for you to be in my presence and not feel fear.”

The combination of words must have had a hidden joke, because the intruding, gray woman began laughing! Her taunting chortles echoed from the walls, making Madame seethe in silence. When the laughing finally stopped, so did the motion of this woman’s body – to Madame’s chagrin, she too was well endowed in the right places. Head-swallowing breasts, a noticeable belly, and thick, powerful thighs to crush anyone who fell between them. She too was one of beautiful shape and size...and yet it was clear that this woman had discarded the concept of beauty long ago. Her smile got wider, revealing her bone-crunching teeth to Noir.

“You know all about bein’ ordinary, right? I can SMELL the black magic comin’ off of you. That’s CLASSIC soul-selling shit; Suck off a demon, get more power, right?”

Madame’s silence persisted. Her eyes began to widen from shock.

“Yeah,” sneered the intruder. “You’re not th’ first or th’last to do that, sweet tits. I’ll say that it makes ya look cuter, though!”

That impish giggle capped off the insult to the injury to Madame’s pride. The perturbed matron waved her hand, causing the faint blue lights in the pantry to be snuffed away, leaving them in total darkness. Noir had the upper hand in Darkness, but the sight of those Crimson eyes glaring at her within the darkness was a clear warning not to underestimate her.

“...Begone, Daemon.”

In the darkness, denizens of the dark were beginning to appear. Demons, summoned by the shadowy mistress crawled toward the gray woman. They pounced, and those red eyes were covered as dark beast bit and gnawed on the woman’s body, feasting on her flesh on behalf of Noir. The darkness was soothing for the Matron, especially now that this intruder had been dealt with...or so she thought.

Red eyes broke though the darkness. Sounds of the very denizens she had summoned began to scream out, but sickening crunches deafened them instantly. In her disbelief, Noir brought light back into the pantry by lighting the candles. What she saw made her audibly gasp. Standing before her was the Intruder, smiling like before, with her belly split open and littered with rows of razor-sharp teeth. It was chewing powerfully on the dark creatures, spilling blood upon the floor and herself… And the Intruder began to slowly stalk toward the shuddering Madame.

“DAEMON?” The intruder spat, eyes and lips twitching as if she was slapped across the face. “Man, you suck at names too. ‘OH SHIT’, ‘FUCK YOU’ or ‘OH JUDIVAH, NO!!’...Weak. I need something’ catchy!”

The distance was being closed between this frightening woman of the underworld, and the Matron who had remembered the feeling of terror. Resting on her hip was her last resort – a Revolver sidearm that’s served her for years. Reaching for the holster, she pulled her gun out and took aim, with the only thing keeping her arm steady was the intruder’s forehead, who had pressed against the barrel of the gun.

“...I know!” exclaimed the smiling woman as her hand rose to grab the Madame. “Call me BIG RED!!”

Madame Noir pulls the trigger, and the deafening boom of her gun echoed into the surrounding forest. The recoil was strong – stronger than any revolver would be in this day and age. "Damn it all…" she curses, gathering her bearings as she inspects the corpse she had made.

The intruder, or Big Red as she called herself, was on the ground with a pool of blood trickling away. Closing her eyes, a wistful sigh emanated from the mouth-less woman of shadow. Though she had hoped to gather a new ally, it would seem that the role of 'Devil Hunter' was granted to her on this dreary day. The disappointment she felt was much more welcome than the terror this creature had seeped into her pristine mind.

"...Guessing ya didn't fuck with that name, huh? Too fuckin' bad, I’m keepin’ it!”

Nearly over a century had passed since Madame Noir had adopted this new body of shadows, free of blemish, imperfection, and skin itself. Despite having no blood to speak of, Noir felt the familiar feeling of her blood going cold as she heard Big Red behind her. Desperation began to swarm her mind as one of her trump cards had failed her, even in point blank range! A gray hand grabbed her shoulder, and Madame Noir feared that she’d soon experience a second death.

But it never came. What did come, however, was the feeling of her body being manhandled as another gray hand grabbed her...this time at a sensitive location: Her breast.

“Whoa! y’never told me y’feel like Jello! Ha! Oh man, This is fun!”

Baffled, befuddled, and downright confused, Madame Noir stood there with wide eyes as her eye-catching breasts became the object of Big Red’s attention. Her mouth would be agape at such brazen molestation, especially from someone who claimed to be a Demon.

“Aw, man. Bet these babies are full of milk too! Ain’t that right sugar-”

SLAP!!

Big Red stumbled to regain her balance. Holding her face, she looked at the person responsible for giving her pain. That person was none other than Madame Noir herself, eyes ablaze and glaring at the stunned demoness. “Listen, and listen well,” she said, barely containing her anger. “Whatever Hell you came from will be your next destination if you so much as THINK of touching me again!” Once again, that hand cannon was raised and aimed toward Big Red, and this time the Matron of Shadows fed it power, letting it shine with a menacing aura. “If I have to fall into the fiery pit today, then I will promise you that I’ll drag your broken body with me!”

Silence befell the Pantry. Big Red stands to her full height, eyeing Noir with an unreadable expression. Noir herself was making her mental preparations for what may transpire. She had no hope of leaving this battle unscathed, if not properly murdered, but she would not leave this earth disrespected and cowering in fear. Their standoff lasted for several minutes, but it’s victor was left undecided as Big Red breaks out in laughter.

“Oh-ho MAN! That’s all it took to get you ready to fight?! Ha, Guess I better get the baby oil ready fer next time!”

The look of confusion on Noir’s face was enough to make Big Red double over in laughter. Clearly, this demon was not well. “...What is the meaning of this?” asked the puzzled shadow. Big Red relents, wiping a tear from her eye.

“Well, I WAS gonna eat ya, but you got guts! Fiends like you usually piss ya’selves when a REAL demon gets up in ya grill!”

Noir’s right eyebrow raised to the ceiling. “...Get up in- Are you saying you ransacked my home, murdered my underlings, and molested me for the sake of a mere test?”

“Hell no,” Big Red scoffed. “I was just hungry!”

Madame Noir’s arm fell to her side, dropping her beloved sidearm to the ground. Never before had she been vexed to the point of speechless bewilderment. The respect and control that Noir demanded had no effect on this gray menace, and with her fearsome abilities there seems to be no way to stop her. She could only watch in defeat as Big Red began to ransack her food reserves with every sickening bite.

“So,” Red said between bites of bread and a dinner plate. “Mind if I crash here? Your place is really cool and it’s full of tasty Imps! You won’t even know I’m here!”

Exhausted, and out of wit, Madame Noir allowed this with a weary nod. She wholeheartedly believed that this Big Red would surely be as quiet as a Banshee, but angering this ravenous woman was definitely not the right move here. Irksome as it was, Madame set aside her plans for the future, and began to meditate on the here and now. She had a guest to entertain.

bumping this so this doesn't get hidden