You find a book full of beautiful poetry and groundbreaking philosophical thinking by American Sports Legend, Charles Barkley.
These are words to cherish.
This is a man to treasure.
Author commentary: The completely inexplicable "quote the wrong guy for wise, famous sayings" gag repeated a few times early in the story is made a little (only a little) less inexplicable with stuff like this. There are two absurd, immutable rules that govern the presence of celebrities in Homestuck. One is, Alternia has all the same celebrities we do, but they're trolls for some reason. The second is, all celebrities in real life also exist on Earth in HS, but none of them quite have the same biographies. Guy Fieri and the Insane Clown Posse... Well, let's just leave it there for now.