Author commentary: Finally we understand why Kanaya thought Rose was an idiot during that first impression, and then bamboozled herself into having a very tricky nonlinear conversation with her. It's because this goofball picked up her first troll attempt. So the "trap" Kanaya set by providing Rose with a (possibly) edited version of their first correspondence was a complete waste of time, because Rose was never going to be the one to have that conversation at all. But of course, this all hinges on the fact that Kanaya can't see who she's talking to yet, for some reason... Guess we'll find out what's up with that soon. The answer to that question is, Kanaya is begrudgingly just starting this trolling campaign on Karkat's orders and hasn't figured out how to use the viewport feature yet. It's impressive that there's such a good explanation to circumvent the crisis in logic that could have otherwise been. It's also interesting that Kanaya knows a few things about the "Rose Human." It invites all kinds of questions. Who talked up Rose to her? Was it Karkat? Was he like, listen, you'll LOVE messing with this one snobby girl in particular. She's right up your alley. Was he...inadvertently setting them up with each other?? That would make sense. He is the romance aficionado, after all. The fact that John expresses gratitude in a gracious way for the bunny gift indicates that he is trolling this troll knowing full well that Rose will backread the conversation after she wakes up, thus trolling her by extension as well. His prankster's gambit meter is probably going haywire. It's a shame we so rarely see it.
main page is @katytheinterneter
You release dear, precious Casey. She was probably getting antsy in that card. You think you'll leave her here with Rose. A dangerous quest is nothing to embark on with a sweet, innocent little girl stashed in your inventory.
You aren't actually sure if she is a girl though. You don't even know if salamanders can be girls. Aren't they hermaphrodites or something?
You don't know anything about biology. Unless it is biology that has to do with ghosts and slime. But even then you don't actually know anything, you just sort of like to pretend you do.
Looks like a troll is bugging Rose.
You gently CHAOS DUNK the fragile bunny back in the box and captchalogue it. It is such a nice present. You will have to write Rose a thank you note and tuck it under her hair band or something. Wait no, that would probably be creepy.
This bunny reminds you that you still have a salamander in your sylladex. She is holding the bunny Dave got you. It's sort of uncanny how similar they are, aside from the knitted enhancements. Seriously, what are the odds?? So weird.
This gift from Rose is so cool. Two sweet bunnies on one birthday?? What are the odds. In a fit of enthusiasm you SHUT UP AND JAM the bunny back in the box, executing a textbook CHAOS DUNK.
Millions would have perished, if everything in the ocean weren't dead already, that is.
Author commentary: A few people started buzzing about "Shut Up and Jam" the moment Barkley appeared, so I made this Chaos Dunk reference. Do people even know anything about this meme anymore? All things considered, it's kind of one of HS's weaker references, I think. Something feels a little off about its inclusion here, I can't really put my finger on it. Oh well, Homestuck lives by the shitpost and dies by the shitpost. That's basically what each update was anyway. It's a tale of 10,000 shitposts.