- Q2 2023: automattic (current owner of tumblr) and universal pictures jointly announce the production of goncharov
- Q1 2024: filming is delayed due to tumblr users discovering the primary shoot location and harassing producers
- Q4 2024: goncharov’s purported release date, but no theatres are showing or have heard of the film
- Q1 2025: matt mullenweg, CEO of automattic, reveals by answering an anonymous ask that the goncharov project was a last-ditch effort to make tumblr profitable
- Q2 2025: it is revealed that martin scorsese was unavailable for the automattic–universal project because he was busy directing a separate privately-funded goncharov project. the automattic–universal film was directed by jack black. neither film ever makes it to the public
- Q3 2025: automattic is purchased by pinboard for an undisclosed price
- Q3 2027: two youtube channels simultaneously publish hours-long “what was goncharov?” videos. neither creator spoke to each other
oh god how did this get here i am not good with computer
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Click here because I can't put an audio widget in the profile
The scenes with the shark are usually very intense and disturbing.
I use Arch BTW
Fun fact: Neo-Nazi dipshit cartoonist Stonetoss is in fact Hans Kristian Graebener of Spring, Texas
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in reply to @wiggles's post:
honestly I think Scorsese is a good enough filmmaker that if you went to him and said "okay, bud, here's a rough plot summary, here's a cast of your long time collaborators, you have to use that Irishman tech and period-accurate film equipment to make it look like it was filmed in the 70s, but also it needs to work as a meta-reflection on how queer audiences have read queer themes into media that they were not allowed to be part of," he'd be able to spin it into gold. that being said I do not think the 15-year-olds on tumblr would enjoy it and they would exclusively watch it at 144p on a website called 123moviesfreeanimewatchlegal.biz
alas i cannot see someone licensing film rights from 120 random posters
i can however someone making a fake making-of film, and also the director alan smithee'ing himself
it'll be like the emoji movie, they'll change as much as they need to avoid licensing, or license from tumblr directly rather than the individual posters leveraging some weird tos clause to make it legal
Francesca Scorsese is joking about having told her dad/that he acknowledges it, but of course, she might be doin' goofs