Dex

Big hearted fluffdragon...

...fictional ex-90s platformer mascot, nerd, plural, ฮ˜ฮ”.


Masto ๐Ÿ˜
scalie.club/@Dex

Voxandra
@Voxandra

I'm so tired of "egg culture" and egg jokes in general. That was the kinda shit that made me uncomfortable when I was young and the pressure I was getting from "friends" that made me run from being trans until I was 25. Sure, things were different many years ago, but it still sucks and I likely would have transitioned much sooner if it weren't for those people who were, ultimately, assholes.

People say "it's just jokes" but the jokes are always "if you wash your ass you're gay" but with different framing. "If you take care of your hair" and a picture of an egg. How is that funny? What's next, if you play Fallout New Vegas? How is that relatable to being trans at all? It sucks, isn't funny, and I'm not looking forward to when I have to put my foot down during a stream when someone makes an awful egg joke in my chat and I get a hate campaign against me for being some sort of traitor all because I hate seeing shit that reminds me of an uncomfortable experience I had.

If you're gonna use the egg shit at least make it about yourself, or make it actually relatable in any way and not just cis gender norms from the other side.


lavender-fw
@lavender-fw

I'm with this because I don't feel like I fit with any of those kind of things. In general I don't like the memes that get shared in communities that are meant to be affirmations in some way but just feel to me like unrelatable generalizations.

One that doesn't have to do with eggs that got me on my hackles, the other day in a discord I'm in I saw an image that said something like "if you give a trans girl headpats and call her a good girl you form a pact where you can summon her in your time of need" and that really got me up on my hackles because A. In most contexts people I am very , very uncomfortable being touched by other people. B. Don't call me "good girl" or anything like that unless we are close otherwise it feels condescending and gross. C. Actually I will be there for valued friends in their times of need if I can! Touching me without my consent and talking down to me is how you get on my shit list, not my friend list.

I had to stop myself from replying to it negatively because I didn't want to sour the general positive mood in that space. Even in general writing things like this I'm not trying to make anyone feel bad, but I think there's a difference between celebrating qualities of yourselves and specific other people and essentially using stereotypes in a broad way. Like I wouldn't want people to see that image and think "Lavender is trans, therefore she thinks like this and wants to be treated this way."

So I say things like this so that people who may have similar thoughts can understand you're not alone if you've felt such things are off-putting. And if you're coming from the other direction and possibly have made or shared things like that, I'm not trying to tell you off here, but I would implore you to simply reword things to make them a little more individualistic.


highimpactsex
@highimpactsex
This post has content warnings for: GENDER.

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in reply to @Voxandra's post:

I've been out as a transgender woman for 10 years. I don't own a blahaj, I do not like the fallout series, I'm not good at coding, I can't take it away from anyone who does like those things, even if I find them a bit confusing and weird to be the sweeping stereotypical narratives. But it sounds like you've been purely hearing these things from really s***** people and I'm incredibly sorry to hear that. It's always just been this benign thing in my circles which confuses me more so than has done any harm to me personally

I do generally think most cases where I see stuff like that that people are well meaning or at least don't have bad intentions, but even if there's not bad intent behind a stereotype it's still not an acceptable behavior to engage in, and it can still cause very real harm nonetheless. A few years ago I saw a pair of people calling a cis person an egg on twitter based on something they said and I'm just like no, that's gross, regardless of what the truth of the matter is. A person's journey of internal identity is a personal, individual one.

At one point I had a friend discussing trans stuff with me and they were very persistent in the idea that I (cis woman) was an egg because I donโ€™t wear makeup or dresses and donโ€™t exhibit a lot of overtly feminine behavior. I didnโ€™t say anything but it did make me mad because a. assuming trans was based on gender norms is some messed-up nonsense and b. if it wasnโ€™t a huge amount of effort I would love to present more traditionally femme.

They later came out as trans so I figured that, at the time, they were looking for friends in the same boat and projecting. Still, donโ€™t do that!

in reply to @highimpactsex's post:

editing out a much longer, excessive comment for the simple important part: thanks for articulating this, it helped give some extra definition to something that has been in the back of my head for ages.