I want to be artificial
I want a soft plastic body that's unambiguously safe and harmless
I want to be an imitation of some recognizable character so that I can be myself
I want to be merchandise
I want a factory to produce me by the thousands
I want to be easily identified but never unique
I want my thoughts to be a program—buggy, yes, but still complex
I want my voice to have the slightly-too-poor sound quality that shows that it's synthesized
I want people to scoff at the suggestion that I was ever a human
