jesus christ. i feel like the past few years, just starting/sketching a pic has become the hardest part of the process which uh

hasnt been great for my mental health and overall relationship with art

I'm currently working extremely hard to try to fix it. I'm trying to keep up an actual IRL sketchpad for the first time in over a decade, im trying to sketch with a ballpoint pen to train away "ctrl-z' dependence, im trying to embrace drawing ugly when im doing warmups or gestures, im tryin to do more figure drawing and general drawing from observation when i can find the time and energy. And on top of all that im trying to figure out how to fucking make just sketching and doodling around fucking FUN and stress free again.

The anxiety i deal with during that first phase is like, the biggest thing standing between me and a lot of my artistic goals and im just trying my hardest to dig myself out of this hole.