One of the most inexplicable things of COVID-tinged life has been how the server of a GDQ event feels during the event, and particularly the last day of the event. For as much as we all wish for in-person events and interaction, being together in that digital space as the marathon comes in for the home stretch is an absolute rush. The closest thing I can compare it too is back in the old days of Twitter during big sporting events, except it's with people you know and in the name of a common cause rather than just entertainment.
While I don't know if there are words to explain it, that feeling is what I go back to when I think about what GDQ is now, more than anything else. It's a shared joy; communal work done in the name of making the world better through entertainment and leveraging our skills and experience.
This year, it was harder for me to feel and participate in that joy. Not because of the event or the organization - part of it was work and timing with teaching. Part of it was personal, timing with identity and gender insecurity. A lot of it was grieving Roch, this week of all weeks.
I'm glad I was still able to help, because the community and the work means a lot to me, but it wasn't until the last day that I saw what it was that I truly appreciate about being involved in GDQ - that communal joy. Because of it, we were able to raise a world of good in the midst of a world of uncertainty.
Let's run it back in May? I'll be there.