Every day I wake up more radically socialist, communist, environmentalist and humanitarian than the day before...
We were talking with a contractor who was inspecting damage in our rental today (it's structural issues from the place being built cheap and poorly) and he was like "Yeah you should be asking for way less in rent if they don't fix this", and they are honestly right. But I've been conditioned after years of the system to think things aren't too bad. But fuck, we pay to live here, money to someone else's mortgage, on a house that costs more in rent than home loan repayments; but we can't get a loan or even in the door to buy a house in the first place because our entire generation somehow isn't working hard enough and all the properties have been bought up as "investments" by those who came before.
The world is so fucked by capital at the moment and quality of life has stagnated or gotten so much worse because of it. I'm an artist who just wants to create, I strongly believe that's why I was put on this earth. But because I'm also queer, disabled and believe that maybe we should improve society somewhat, suddenly every system is in place to fight against me just existing.
I feel a slow but strong return of the deeply passionate artist in me, the anti-capitalist wildlife photographer my ex (though mostly their mother) traumatised out of me. The little beatnik who got in too much trouble as a kid for questioning authority and presenting too neurodivergent. The one who would get in the middle of fights, get everyone to laugh and then tell stories to teach others about the many different and wonderful things in the world.
I'm so very tired and sick of being quiet about it. I got quiet because I got hurt too many times. But I still get hurt if I just sit in my box anyway, so what's the point of not just living how I want to?
Like, I'll be okay. But I need to get up on my soapbox like this on occasion as an alternative to screaming into a pillow.
The worlds tough as shit, I just hope with all my heart we all make it π
