Veynuz
maybe not the best post to do in textbox format but i wanna have a face attached to this

I don't really get dysphoric about things. It's only very recently ive ever felt dysphoric about things at all. this honestly makes it very difficult for me to realize things about myself

I went by he/him for ages because i was told thats what i was and I didnt have any feelings about it. Then by they/them when i found out about that. and it took ages for me to realize I had other options

Honestly thinking about having it/its used for me was probably the first time ive ever felt properly euphoric about me. anything more than a neutral or vague appreciation or doing something because i felt i had to

and i want to thank renum for that since you helped a lot with that realization but also for the following: at this point, I'm very sure im otherkin, at the very least

I have a lot of very utilitarian dislike for my body but beyond that all i can muster is a neutral feeling. it functions as a meat vessel i guess

but i think about being railkou and looking down and seeing my feathers and talons and my tail and i get happy. its something i actually want, that i can feel more than neutral about. I can think of it and go, I want this. The truest version of me is this.

and like. i get it. i get it now

i think not getting dysphoric is a lot like not feeling pain. I just accept things without noticing that its not good for me. that its not helping me. that there is something out there that could help and could make me happy

Railkou
and a lot of it is this. this makes me happy. I want to knock things over with my tail, and be too short to reach things, and get pets from my friends. I want all of it

there isn't an ending to this post, not really. just me trailing off as i finish saying everything i wanted to say. whats the point of this? i dunno. but I needed to say it

thanks for reading i suppose
