DuskTheUmbreon

Male, bi, furry, ΘΔ, polyamorous

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Persistent hellsite refugee apparently



hootOS
@hootOS

Collegehumor (now known as Dropout) produced a show called Total Forgiveness in 2019. It's a show about two cast members at Dropout with a staggering combined $150,000 in student debt, who pitch a show to then-CCO Sam Reich where the two challenge each other for increasing sums of money that can be put onto their student debt.

From the setup in the show's first episode my assumption was a show similar to Jackass, with crazy challenges no sane individual would ever consider doing. In Jackass, however, the motivation is one-upsmanship, trying to impress friends with unbelievably dangerous stunts only to have them try to outdo it shortly thereafter.

In Total Forgiveness, the motivation is helping to pay off student debt.

Spoilers under the cut.


The show, as a result, is almost impossible to watch. Not only because these challenges become extremely humiliating and debasing toward the end of the show, but because i know what debt feels like, and if I had as much debt as they did I would absolutely do the exact things they do in the show.

I absolutely would eat an impossibly hot bowl of chili while talking to an ex-girlfriend for $500. I would totally cover my body in leeches and end up looking like I came out of American Psycho for $500. I would absolutely shit in public for $7500. I mean fuck, forget debt; I'd just drop trou and shit on the sidewalk for that much. That would be enough to fly around the USA to see my three girlfriends.

Like, that's what hits so hard about this show. It perfectly displays the immense lengths people will go through to ease financial debt. It shows just how horrifying debt can be because these are the acts people will do to erase only part of it. Furthermore, if you perceive debt as a form of income cancellation - where a portion of your money magically gets sucked out of your hands as soon as the bills touch your fingers - this is also a commentary on the sheer mental destruction poverty can have on the mind.

I cried a lot during the finale. It was already extremely hard to watch in Episode 9, where Ally gets a tattoo of their partner-of-two-month's name on their neck and Grant shits in an art gallery. But in Episode 10, Grant is so debased by the premise of the show that he admits the only thing he can think of that would top Ally's challenges is to send Ally to conversion therapy. As he confesses to his horrifying thoughts, Grant bumps the table and a framed portrait of Ally - a prop from an earlier challenge where Ally spent a workday in a coffin - tips over against the wall and nearly falls.

To be very clear, Grant didn't suggest conversion therapy seriously; it was stated as if it was a call for help. He knew it was completely inhumane and unethical, and needed to find a way to fix the show and heal the strain on the friendship this show had caused.

But watching him so emotionally overwrought about how the show had gone, to make such a horrifying confession and then - as if Shakespeare had written it himself - to see him accidentally tip over a portrait of Ally, it hit me so fucking hard. I've been in that deep, deep pit of despair before. I've been in strained friendships where the thoughts running through my head were malicious and violent, and it made me feel like a fucking monster - as it should have. Unfortunately, I didn't reach out for help like Grant did, and those friendships shattered to pieces.

To watch Grant and Ally both recover the show and their friendship in the finale was another wave of tears, this time in relief. Watching Grant and Ally dig themselves to China with how desperate they are to pay off student loans in that manner, then seeing them come out the other side with a stronger bond than before is so moving it could shift fucking mountains.

Lots of viewers said the show was unfair, seeing Ally's challenges as impossible or exceedingly dehumanizing while Grant's challenges remained fair. However, I'd argue getting a fucking tattoo of your two-month-partner's name on your neck is also pretty fucked. and beyond that, if there were no stakes in the show, there would be no show. The reality is, the way the game played out as "unfair" is kind of the point; student debt itself is unfair. But people seemed to focus on how Ally challenged Grant, rather than the two of them putting each other through so much on the pretense that their student debt will be reduced.

As of September 2023, over $1.74 TRILLION US DOLLARS in student debt has been accumulated. This is not debt as a whole, this is just student debt. On average, people have about $29,000 USD in student debt. these are fucking insane numbers to think about. The amount of student debt in America FUCKING DOUBLES AMERICA'S MILITARY SPENDING BUDGET.

This show fucked me up all kinds of ways. I feel completely changed after watching this. I already knew these facts going into the show - i knew debt was hard to deal with, i knew the amount of debt people dealt with on average was as much as a brand new car, and i knew the total accumulated debt of individuals was well beyond a sane amount of money. But seeing Grant and Ally put the feeling of desperation debt creates into a 10-episode reality show allows me to conceive just how much suffering this debt is causing people. I already struggle so much with the debt I'm dealing with as it is, and it's only in the three figure amount. But this much complete dehumanization from a combined $150,000 of student debt paints the problem of debt in such clear form that it becomes a fucking Eldritch monster that burns itself into your mind forever.

I highly recommend watching Total Forgiveness. It ends about as perfectly as any show could, making the whole show feel so worth the struggle to witness the public humiliation of two people trying to pay off their debt. It shows the real human cost of that debt, and the kinds of trials that a strong friendship can really withstand.

But also, if you're weak of heart (and probably stomach), maybe just stick to Game Changers.


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in reply to @hootOS's post:

one of the things that fucks me up about debt (not necessarily student loan debt, not sure exactly how the rules work) is for how cheap companies can buy that, like, the debt itself is not really worth that much, it would be so easy to just forgive, but...

I remember being like "ho what's this? I'll watch an episode and then get on with my day" and then getting trapping binging the whole thing minus a few episodes I could not physically watch (MLM to roommates). It's so excellent.