This is an update on my money situation. If you want details about my need for aid at the moment, look below the cut. If you want to help sight unseen, paypal info is in my bio. If you don't want to see mutual aid requests, I've tagged this so it can go in muted tags or whatever. I hope to be the one giving the cash aid in future (assuming cash remains a thing); for now, I'm in need.
Mild CW that I'm not using the CW field for because I'd rather the top of the post be more visible: after the cut, I talk about my dad's cancer and death.
So, roughly a week ago, my dad died. Metastasized de-differentiated liposarcoma, probably all over his body but definitely killed him by making his lungs stop working. This sucks for many many reasons. I am emotionally unstable; I am able to do chores sometimes, maintain and coast sometimes, but there are too many dangerous intrusive thought triggers and... Well I'm sure many of you have been there.
Materially, dad was the sole income earner in the house. With him gone, we'll go to having his social security death benefits, and the social security and US foreign service pension from his dad which my grandmother who is living with us has coming in. At a rough estimate, this will cut our household income by half, while expenses only go down by 20-25%. Until and unless my just-as-old-as-dad-was mom and 4-year-employment-gap-mental-illness-disabled me can manage to get some kind of additional income, we will face a shortfall that will likely force mom to open a new loan on our home equity, and/or other tough decisions between what to give up.
My fundraising goal is to eliminate my current debts and with anything beyond that, cover my own expenses to keep the household budget with more breathing room, with any amount over the initial goal.
Paypal credit: I currently owe roughly $1300. This has been my only source of credit, and after paying it down 6 months ago when an acquaintance helped me make it this far, more built up when that commission's cash ran out.
Psychiatric care: I currently owe roughly $200. This is two appointments plus a late payment fee.
Monthly expenses: The first $500 or so per month would definitely be used every month, to avoid going without important services, medications, and even a couple of comforts.
Received since my first request earlier this week: ~$300 after paypal fees. This has offset ongoing expenses and bought some emergency delivery meals.
Therefore, my goal within the next 3 weeks would be approximately $1700. The more help I receive towards this goal, the more strength it will give me towards the process of getting paid work. It's my goal, like I said before the cut, to not be the one in need of being given money forever. It is hard to ask. I'm conditioned to see it as a failure; this is bullshit but it's not something that turns off like a switch. I'm also afraid of coming across as a greedy manipulative creep; a perception I can't possibly know anyone has nor really control. That doesn't make the needs go away, though. So I ask.
Again, paypal info is in my bio. That's my one concession to my guilt. I won't SEO optimize my request for help. I'm just asking.