consider the Hobart 1612, a 1959 model pretty close to the platonic ideal of the genre:
- Massive cast base. Look at that thing. Is that iron or aluminum? It doesn’t matter. You’re never going to move it. Not accidentally.
- Protected slides. What does that meat log tray ride on? Who knows, it’s under the massive lump of metal on the right. Not ham grease.
- Design elements which are highly attractive and highly functional. All the corrugated parts serve to keep the food in place and feeding smoothly as you turn it into a stack of smaller food.
- Big knob. What do the numbers mean? Nobody knows, nobody cares. You’re gonna guesstimate and eat the first couple of slices to get it dialed in anyway. Or give them to the customer waiting at the counter. Or their dog.
- Safety. This machine from hell is a mandoline crossbred with a table saw, but with way more energy in the blade than any table saw and a bigger maw than any mandoline. You see what it does to ham and cheese without even noticing? This beast craves fingertips. But nobody wants to have to deal with that. Keep your hands where you can see them, on the conveniently placed handles maybe, and they’ll be where the blade can’t.
- Big blade go vrrrrrrwhhnnnnnnnnnnnnn
- Damn that thing is pretty though. These machines got frozen for a while in a 50s industrial aesthetic with smooth lines but no nonsense.
- Have you ever heard one of these in operation? Up close? Awe-inspiring.
