Today was a real soupy day. Worked on some submissions but no writing/editing. Specifically not using pronouns as a subject in sentences because who the fuck is this? Or anyone at any point during the day? It's unknown.
Plan for tomorrow is to hop on the bike and go to The Good Bakery (cake, cookies, tea breads, that kind of place) and buy a bunch of sweets. And get lunch (pizza? burgers? idk we'll see what seems good). Those are all things that several people like so someone should take the reins and really be in control, right?
This "I am no one" feeling is weird. There's a "who am I" folder on the desktop that has "portraits" of various alters but....this is definitely not any of them. There is no sense of self of any specific person. No strong desires. But it's not the nothing of Silver. And there is "conciousness" and the sense of "I am inhabiting this physical body in this current moment in time in this reality" which isn't there when other people are fronting.
So who am I even? Why do I have access to a lot of memories/knowledge but not a lot of skills or any emotions or sense of self?
I should probably actually write in the journal. The thing you're supposed to do when you're not sure who you are or is very much not bird to record things. I will do that now, hopefully that can get someone else to show up and maybe answer some of these questions.
- ?????