Emily the Flareon

When we reported the results in Slack, we said (approximately):

...but idk if y'all want to add an extra X% in cost lol

They would NEVER talk so casually lmao

They would like everyone to know that the only reason why our work to-do list carried over from last week is 2 items is because of all of their hard work, not the rest of us. And that they are going to carry us through a sales meeting tomorrow and nab us half a day's work worth of free (and untaxable!) money, so, clearly, they are the only one putting money back into us.

(which isn't true! writing makes us SOME money, and Aelita's activities save us money, and also there's more to life than making money and working!!!!)

One day I'm going to come into work wearing this fucking thing

broke: send me asks please

bespoke: uwu i'm a little askpilled questioncel

this sounds like a setup for a bit but joke's on you i put a modicum of effort into this

ground

Duneon

poison

Vitreon

rock

Cairneon

flying

Aereon

normal

Exubreon

bug

Chiteon

ghost

Spectreon

fighting

Rumbleon

dragon

Drakeon

steel

Chromeon

the trick is that the existing names tend to:

• stress the first two syllables, and thus be derived from a word whose first syllable is stressed

• share a consonant cluster at the end of the root word (JOL-TE-on) or truncate the root word at a vowel that can be replaced naturally with "eon" (ES-PE-on) or use a root word that is begging for an "e" after it in a way i cannot explain (vaporeon)

and the result is that the original word slurs enough to sound like a new word when said aloud, but it's still reminiscent enough of the original. which is a slightly tricky balancing act

so you can't just go, ho ho, bug-type eevee is "insecteon"! the rhythm doesn't match and it sounds too much like you're just saying a word funny, and then saying "eon".

i think i'm least happy with "Drakeon" (but for dragons there really are not too many words to work with; maybe there's a cool type of lizard i'm not thinking of) and "Chromeon" (chromium is, notably, not steel; Ferreon is better but sounds too much like Flareon). kind of a shame i started with Vitreon because that's clearly the best one

for bonus points tell me why i did them in that order